One of the many comforts from home that I have to give up while I’m at school is the simple pleasure of being “one of those damn kids” that drives around and plays loud music. I’m fortunate enough to bomb around the suburbs of New York in my parents’ 2005 Chevrolet Suburban with satellite radio, and I never leave the house without the proper audio in tow. It’s a big Republican beast (we’re talking like 11 miles per gallon tops), and I’d be lying if I told you that I knew how to resist the temptation of throwing on a decidedly obnoxious soundtrack for my traversals through suburbia.

And so I bring you a list of suggestions for the next time you’re looking for some hood rich tracks to accompany your next drive. As a disclaimer, I’d like to make it perfectly clear that I don’t have any delusions of gangster. I play golf for God’s sake. I’m not pretending to be from the projects, but who doesn’t like the Three 6 Mafia in this day and age?

Three 6 Mafia – “I Got” (ft. Pimp C & Project Pat)

Not a member of the typical rotation of Three 6 songs often blasted from crappy speakers in crappy Madison basements at crappy house parties, “I Got” samples Zombie Nation’s “Kernkraft 400” (one of those songs that usually plays over the loudspeaker during the two minute warning). DJ Paul also reminds us that he is so fresh and so, so clean.

Young Buck – “Get Buck”

Keeping it in Tennessee for track two. Cashville’s own Young Buck uses a choir and a tuba to explain how he takes percocet with his booze and how his Chevy’s “hoggin up the lane” (just like mine).

Big Tymers – “Still Fly”

“Still Fly” is the quintessential pick for a list like this, and most college students can probably relate to Birdman’s housing predicament: “Can’t pay my rent / ‘Cause all my money’s spent / But that’s okay / ‘Cause I’m still fly.”

CunninLynguists – “Thugged Out Since Cub Scouts”

Off the debut Will Rap for Food, this song is exactly as the title suggests. It opens with “Ridin’ on my big wheel dressed to kill” and the juvenile hijinks don’t stop coming.

The Game – “Put You On The Game” (ft. Timbaland)

Recorded before The Game’s feud with 50 Cent (“My unit is Gorilla),” it’s hard to find anything wrong with this track. For anybody else from the East Coat (read: the good coast), “Put You On The Game” takes a lot of the guilt away from listening to LA rap.

Rick Ross – “Push It” (Remix ft. Bun B, Jadakiss, & The Game)

What’s better than Rick Ross? A Rick Ross remix. Bun B raps in Spanish, and Ross talks about how “Mama said you’d get rich with a little hard work,” so really this song is all about family values. Family values and cocaine. Jadakiss and I are actually both from Yonkers (the city of hills, where nothing is on the level), so I have a little 914 bias for this one.

Charles Hamilton – “Stutter”

Charles Hamilton samples the Charlie Brown theme. Yeah.

Cam’Ron – “Killa Cam”

“Killa Cam” is one of those tracks that should only be listened to at the loudest volume setting and with a decent sub. So naturally it’s perfect for blasting from your car while pedestrians shake their fists in disgust.

T.I. – “Bankhead” (ft. P$C & Young Dro)

Off T.I.’s last good album King, “Bankhead” is basically a bunch of dudes from Hotlanta taking turns talking about how badass they are.

The Notorious B.I.G. – “Gimme the Loot”

“Gimme the Loot” is five minutes of dizzying lyrics and “how did he do that?” rhymes for those of you who have never discovered this gem from Ready to Die. Example: “From the Beretta / Puttin all the holes in your sweater.”

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony – “Home” (ft. Phil Collins)

Who knew Phil Collins-yes, the same Phil Collins-could be so hood? At any rate, the conjunction of the two makes me feel a little less uneasy about creating a playlist like this; if the former Genesis vocalist is good enough for Bone Thugs, then so am I, damn it.