VILAS PARK – Redemption was everywhere in Madison this weekend.

Overshadowing the UW football team’s win over top-ranked Ohio State was The Badger Herald’s 18-13 triumph over the Dirty Bird Friday afternoon.

BH quarterback Lukas Keapproth’s two touchdowns were enough to give the Gentle Clowns their first flag football win over the Dirty Birds since 2007, in a dominating effort by the Herald defense.

Design Director/linebacker Meagan Stilp’s sixth and seventh senses for where the ball is going fueled her two interceptions, en route to game MVP honors. One Heralder described her as “like a hurricane, except one with arms to pick off passes, and not dependent on weather patterns to fuel her power.”

“Charles Woodson meets the BP oil spill doesn’t even begin to describe my dominance,” Stilp said, as she chugged two beers and uprooted an oak tree for reasons unknown.

DB quarterback Parker Gabriel hurt himself with the interceptions, a result of the magnificent pass rush the BH produced. Ed Board member Michael Bleach entered the game in the second half, picking up three sacks, as the Gentle Clowns’ D-line nommed on the weak Dirty Bird pass blocking.

The memory of Gentle Clowns stampeding from all directions has caused Gabriel to reevaluate much of what he knows about life.

“For one, I can no longer support Clay Matthews, now that I know the fear that comes with staring a pass rush in the face,” Gabriel said. “It’s almost as scary as the memory of the Dirty Bird being the dominant paper on this campus.”

The Herald got the win despite being down 13-12 at half. The DB was gifted a touchdown at the end of the second quarter after a Dirty Bird receiver fell in the end zone and the ball dropped off his belly for half of a second or so, which is apparently the new rule regarding “possession of the ball” and catches.

But BH defense pitched a second-half shutout, including a crucial stop on fourth and long at the end of the game. In the Dirty Bird’s last chance to come back, Gabriel’s pass fell incomplete, much like the Cardinal’s news coverage.

In a rare change of pace, the game required no last-minute heroics, unlike the BH’s walk-off win over the DB in the softball game back in May. Following the fourth-down stop, the Gentle Clowns were able to kneel the ball for the win and savor the sweet, tangy taste of victory.

Asked what it felt like to lose to a team that simply embodies success in every conceivable meaning of the word, DB editor-in-chief Emma Roller was visibly confused.

“Successa-what”? Roller said. “I don’t think our copy department can even spell success.”

“I think it’s French, or Latin,” Gabriel added.

The BH’s confident play calling fueled by Sports Content Editor Max Henson’s imaginative and effective misdirection playbook and inspired defense earned Sports Editor Adam Holt a victory in his head coaching debut – and may have had a bigger impact on campus than originally thought.

“After the win, Bret Bielema had me come in and talk to his guys, get them fired up for OSU,” Holt said. “Obviously it worked – I’m a coaching and motivational genius.”

In the end, The Herald was simply better – on the field and at the keg – than the Cardinal. While the daily “battle” for journalistic supremacy will carry on, the Gentle Clowns proved their dominance the American way – with sports.

For the second time in 2010, there was nothing the Dirty Bird could do about it.

“I’m not embarrassed to say it,” Stilp said. “The bottom line is, the Dirty Bird got beat by a girl.”