After losing last year’s Herald-Cardinal softball game, a slugfest that ended in a 16-15 Cardinal victory, former Herald sports editor Ben Voelkel wasn’t going to let his squad fall again.
But instead of providing one of his standard pregame pump-up speeches, Voelkel let his bat do all the talking.
With the Badger Herald down 6-5 in the final inning, it was Voelkel’s big blast to right field that made the difference, prompting a huge celebration at home plate, as the Herald won 7-6 in dramatic fashion.
“I didn’t call my shot, but I probably should have — it would have helped that one Dirty Bird guy in right field,” Voelkel said. “I saw him playing in, and I figured, ‘Hey, why not his it over his head?'”
Voelkel did just that, and with the win, it marks the first time since 2004 that the Herald beat the Cardinal in the annual rivalry game. According to News Editor Ken “Papa Bear” Harris, the victory was a long time coming.
“Well you know, I saw the determination Mama Bear (Tyler Mason) showed in center field, and I just didn’t want to disappoint my little snuggle muffin,” Harris said.
Harris’ ERA now sits at a very respectable 10.50 over the past two games, although this time, he received some help from his outfielders, one of whom goes by the mysterious pseudonym of Billy.
“Yeah, I’m not exactly sure who that guy is, but I think he’s written a couple sports stories for us,” Editor in Chief Tom Schalmo said. “I mean, he’s eligible, right?”
One factor giving a big advantage to the Herald was Daily Cardinal sports editor Ben Breiner’s absence from the lineup. Playing the manager’s role for the second consecutive game, Breiner was often seen doing pushups on the sideline in cooperation with his current “Beefing up the Brein” campaign.
Although he has gained a solid four pounds of muscle, he still can’t wield the 26-ounce softball bat.
“I just got tired really quickly,” the slim 160-lb., 5-foot-9-inch senior said. “They make me do pushups, and it just gets so hard sometimes!”
On the flipside, Herald College Editor Taylor “Oh M G” Cox strutted her muscles, knocking a single that prompted a huge Herald rally in the sixth inning. Despite the excitement she showed upon reaching first base, Cox said she felt quite confident before her at bat.
“I was just like, oh my gosh, I can do this,” she said. “I just closed my eyes and swung as hard as I could and the ball just kept going.”
Cox’s infield roller was later overshadowed by City Editor Heather Burian’s base knock of her own. Capping the rally, Burian’s single drove in two runs to put the Herald up 6-5 in the bottom of the sixth inning.
Burian, however, was unavailable to comment due to News Content Editor Kevin Bargnes’ constant bickering, claiming he was partly responsible for the Herald victory and for Burian’s go-ahead RBI.
“I don’t play a lot of sports, but I definitely am a good watcher,” Bargnes said. “I told Heather that we needed her to come up big, and even though I’m a worthless softball player, I think that hit was a product of my genius and overall supremacy.”
Daily Cardinal Copy Chief Kate Manegold, who was crying like a little girl after the loss, was seen snuggling with Herald Sports Content Editor Ben Solochek shortly afterward. According to Solochek, there are no hard feelings between the two publications.
“Yankees-Red Sox, Michigan-Ohio State, Cubs-Cardinals — those rivalries have nothing on this one,” Solochek said. “I’m just glad we beat them, and I’m glad to be going out on top.”
