As Men’s Mental Health Month ended this November, online discourse centered around Gen Z’s loneliness crisis continued to rise. Among men, this crisis is evident by a spread of online misogyny, often characterized as “redpilling.” The term is borrowed from the 1999 film “The Matrix” where red and blue pills could either “awaken you to the reality of the world” while the other leaves you within the comfort of the Matrix, according to Parents.com.
Today, redpilling refers to the influence of right wing, extreme masculinity and the language surrounding it, which becomes ingrained in men’s minds and influences how they act. It is exasperated in the online world dubbed “the manosphere,” or corners of the internet where young, lonely men congregate to complain about the perceived influence of feminism, according to Parents.com.
UN Women defines the manosphere as “a loose network of communities that claim to address men’s struggles” but often manifests itself in harmful advice that demeans women, which is exemplified by extremist influencer Andrew Tate.
The central argument of those within this online community is that society is unfairly stacked against men in general, but it can be shown explicitly in the realm of dating and gender roles. They argue feminism has gone too far and believe women are manipulative and vain, according to Parents.com.
Redpilling often involves a strong dedication to heteronormativity and can often spiral into white supremacy and alt right ideology. Some men have expressed frustration with their dating lives and have lamented how easy it would be to fall into redpill culture when it seems their experiences are not going as planned, according to Parents.com.
Conversations spreading this ideology can be found anywhere on the internet, though they are more common in more private forums like Reddit, Discord and 4chan. The rhetoric often starts small before beginning to infiltrate one’s feed until it becomes a standard part of their vocabulary.
These groups leave no space for confusion about the extreme message of the language. They share warnings about the content users will consume, meaning men searching for this information are minimally warned about the impact it may have on their lives, according to Parents.com.
Young men and teenagers are less likely to register the risks of engaging in these conversations. This is especially concerning for teenagers who are already susceptible to feeling lonely or insecure as traditional male roles have become less prominent. This ideology helps them find purpose, as they quickly begin to believe only the “alpha” males succeed while the “betas” are left behind, according to Parents.com.
Young men, two thirds of whom engage with masculinity influencers online, are more likely than older men to hold stereotypical gender role views, according to UN Women. Many are also drawn to the simplicity and lack of accountability for failures in dating or a career which can be comforting in contrast to the volatility of the present day.
Men took to the internet to express their distrust in women, but instead of finding support, the issue quickly turned to a debate. By framing male loneliness as a problem purported by women, men have only isolated themselves further. Often, men are subject to bullying by other men in the name of dominance and male stereotypes, Cynthia Miller-Idriss explained to PBS.
Loneliness worsened following the 2024 Presidential election. Phrases like “Your body my choice” and “Get back in the kitchen” increased in popularity by over 4600 percent in a 24-hour period, according to PBS.
But, the shift towards the “manosphere” does not simplify or improve dating for these men who search for solutions. Instead, women have turned away from men who fell into this harmful rhetoric.
Some argue that women must work to pull men out of this thought spiral, however it should not be up to those who are ultimately harmed by this messaging to solve the problem.
When men turn to a rejection of feminism, they should be responsible for its impacts. Women can certainly support men through the process of unlearning harmful habits, but they should not feel as though it is their responsibility in relationships or friendships to solve this problem.
This is especially important when considering that misogynistic rhetoric is the biggest indicator of future political, domestic or intimate relationship violence, according to PBS. We should not be encouraging women to enter potentially dangerous situations created by men in the name of solving a loneliness crisis formed by men’s lack of emotional availability.
Instead, men must recognize the danger this poses and support their friends and family. Men are more likely to fall into harmful habits or substance abuse when holding misogynistic viewpoints, according to UN Women.
Men must be ready and willing to discuss the issue while finding connection in other areas of their lives. Forming communities around interests and hobbies will lead to improved self esteem and in turn improve relationships.
Everyone can work to minimize these impacts by promoting healthy male role models online. Media literacy is also crucial to rejecting redpilling as a majority of manosphere language is based on pseudoscience and hate that can be rejected by proper education, according to UN Women.
So, when encountering language that is demeaning toward women, pessimistic about dating or obsessed with power, we must stop this first warning by addressing it head on. We must encourage positive online spaces that focus on connection rather than superiority. Promoting positive masculinity online will strengthen in person and online connections, which is crucial in fighting the spiral into alt right ideology.
