It’s not easy to find a good analogy when thinking about Barack Obama’s transition team. As rumors of Obama’s Clinton courtship run rampant on cable news, it’s amusing to imagine Barack as George Steinbrenner, working to do whatever it takes to assemble a cabinet of superstars. Unfortunately, this strategy lacks recent success. At other times, given his idyllic view of a future America, it seems as if he’s assembling the Justice League, his aides already vetting Clark Kent‘s past. But again, depending on how many Green Lanterns you count, Superman’s spandex-clad brethren lack the diversity of new age politics (There were, apparently, three Green Lanterns, one of whom was black. I had no idea. Thanks, Google).

Ultimately, only one group of world-changers express both the cultural triumphs and the supposed successes of a new Obama administration, and in an effort to alienate most of the readership, they will be discussed at length. Come Jan. 20, 2009, the Power Rangers take office.

The Power Rangers were a group of parent-loving, homework-doing, old lady-helping teens who just happened to stumble upon weapons and giant mechanical dinosaurs. Their job, much like Obama’s, was to rid the Earth of the evil brought on by some crazy witch (George Bush?) and her army of mindless Putty Patrollers (registered Republicans?). Barack may represent one ranger, but to fully combat this Fox-sponsored enemy he needed help. So true to form, Barack Obama took out his sword-flute and called out to Democrats across the country, attempting to build a cabinet worthy of several spin-offs. And of all the people he looked to muse, one was our very own Gov. Doyle.

Doyle looks a bit too old to be a Power Ranger. Physically, he’s much more like Zordon. But while he may not fit the part aesthetically, his track record and political history make him a strong candidate for any cabinet/fighting force. Doyle was an early supporter of the Obama campaign, and his legal background as the Wisconsin Attorney General makes him an interesting candidate for that very position at the national level. As one of the many lawyers who gained fame through the anti-tobacco lawsuits of the 1990s, he learned how to handle both the spotlight and industry pressure long before he became governor. But leaving mid-term to join the Obama Megazord would leave Wisconsin in a compromised position, one that would tarnish Doyle’s good reputation.

While no corner of the United States is unaffected by the war, there are issues of government better dealt with at the federal level than at the local level. As a strong defender of education and stem cell research, Doyle is much more suited to serving the people of Wisconsin instead of Washington. With the Bush administration coming to a close, and the moratorium on stem cell research likely to be lifted under Obama, Doyle should work hard to fully assert the University of Wisconsin as a leader in cutting-edge science through increased funding. Admittedly, genetics is dangerous, and one must assume Putty Patrollers were aided by some form of cloning, but that’s a fight best left for Obama, Hillary the Pink Ranger, Bill the Nude Ranger, Al Gore the Green Ranger and one of Barack’s socialist friends dressing in red.

Gov. Doyle would succeed politically in Washington just as he does in Wisconsin. But as a UW alum and veteran local figure with a strong knowledge of the people, he is best served by staying put. For the most part, he seems to agree, downplaying the Obama whispers every time they come up. But they don’t seem to go away, and some people think where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Personally, I’ve always relied more on sparks than smoke, as it felt like the only special effect the Power Rangers ever budgeted for. Honestly, YouTube it.

But beyond pyrotechnics, while the Obama administration looks to save America, presumably from overgrown monsters who always happen to exponentially grow larger around the same time of every episode, Doyle should look to preserve what makes Wisconsin great. He can’t ensure that for the people if he leaves office. Besides, I hear Dinozords get terrible gas mileage.

Sean Kittridge ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in journalism.