If the Green Bay Packers could play the Miami Dolphins and Arizona Cardinals every week, Brett Favre and Co. would be Super Bowl contenders.

Likewise, if the Republican Party could square off against Sen. John Kerry every election season, the GOP would never have to break a sweat come early November.

Mr. Kerry, the junior senator from Massachusetts, isn't up for re-election this year, of course. But that fact did not stop the senator this week from doing what he does best — shooting himself and his party in the foot — by attracting a whirlwind of negative attention with precious little time to go before Election Day, thanks to an unfortunate comment he made in California Monday.

The remark, as you all probably know by now, went like this: "You know, education — if you make the most of it, you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

Taken literally, the comment is just short of disgusting — it suggests that U.S. troops overseas are idiots who fight because they're dumb and lacking in other opportunities. Mr. Kerry has insisted the statement was a botched joke intended to criticize President George W. Bush for leading the country into Iraq, indicating the wording was supposed to go something like this, according to CNN: "I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

I'm inclined to give Mr. Kerry the benefit of the doubt here, though not without hesitation given his unsavory characterization of U.S. troops in other conflicts in the past. The extreme awkwardness of the joke's supposed wording can be reconciled by recognizing that the man speaking here is, after all, John Kerry. His history indicates he doesn't mince words — he butchers them. (Remember, Mr. Kerry "actually did vote for the $87 billion before [he] voted against it.")

And if Mr. Kerry apologized by acknowledging that the words he did say, even if not intended, were highly disrespectful to soldiers in the armed forces, the controversy would likely die down without too much fanfare.

However, no such apology was in the offing from Mr. Kerry, at least not immediately. Instead, in the wake of the controversy, the senator blasted anyone who condemned him for the remark, saying critics are "crazy" if they interpret his comment as a dig at U.S. soldiers.

He then held a press conference where he declared: "I apologize to no one for my criticism of the president and of his broken policy." In an extended rant, Mr. Kerry proceeded to label criticism of his comment as another swiftboating operation and indicated — in his best Howard Beale homage — that he and the Democrats are angry and not going to take it anymore.

It was an outburst that had to leave more than a few Democrats cringing, especially upon hearing the words "I apologize to no one." To be sure, this is 2006, not 2004, and Mr. Kerry is not the face of the Democratic Party. Yet Mr. Kerry's comments, along with his refusal to back away from them, project a certain image that some are likely to attribute to Democrats in general. Some people recognized this immediately — a Democratic congressional candidate in Iowa canceled a campaign visit from Mr. Kerry set for this week. Mr. Kerry, in turn, canceled several other appearances he was set to make around the country.

More damagingly for Democrats, it presented an opportunity for Republicans to address the war in the Middle East in a way that plays to their advantage. Iraq is the GOP's kryptonite in this election. The Michael J. Fox ad controversy was good for Republicans, simply because it took the media's focus off of Iraq.

Mr. Kerry provided an exception to the rule by steadfastly standing behind a comment that clearly bashed the intelligence and honor of American troops serving overseas. Whether he meant it or not, the quote clearly came off in a way that can only reasonably refer to students, not Mr. Bush, and as such, an apology to the plethora of soldiers and civilians understandably insulted was more than in order.

After all, Sen. John McCain, who called for Mr. Kerry to apologize, was certainly not trying to swiftboat his fellow veteran. And he certainly does not fit the mold of the chicken-hawk, partisan hack that Mr. Kerry has used to describe people who have criticized him for his comment.

An apology of sorts finally came early Wednesday, when Kerry appeared on the Don Imus radio show to say: "I said it was a botched joke. Of course, I'm sorry about a botched joke. You think I love botched jokes?"

There were two glaring problems with Mr. Kerry's "apology." First, if his remarks could so easily and obviously be passed off as a mangled attempt at comedy, there would be little need to stuff the term "botched joke" down people's throats repeatedly. Secondly, he didn't apologize to those understandably offended by his comment in California. Rather, he merely apologized for being such a klutz with words before blasting the supposed vast right-wing conspiracy for twisting his quote out of context. A sincere apology Mr. Kerry's radio appearance certainly was not.

At long last, he released a true apology in a written statement late Wednesday, saying: "I personally apologize to any service member, family member or American who was offended." Given the extreme lateness of the apology, however, it is easy to conclude Mr. Kerry offered it not because he truly is sorry, but because frantic Democratic strategists finally convinced him to drop his aura of arrogance and take the one politically beneficial step to stop the bleeding he caused.

The Massachusetts senator still harbors delusions of taking another stab at the White House in two years. As this latest incident suggests, allowing him to do so would be suicide for Democrats, as Mr. Kerry plays the role of his own worst enemy very well. In '04, he didn't respond to the actual Swiftboaters fast enough. In '06, his paranoia from being treated unfairly before led him to rip everyone for misinterpreting an unfunny joke Mr. Kerry admitted he flubbed.

Whether Mr. Kerry's remarks will provide a hint of momentum to an otherwise gloomy outlook for the GOP remains to be seen. By the time next Tuesday rolls around, the Kerry kerfuffle probably won't change many votes.

But one could hardly fault a few giddy Republican strategists if they hailed the senator's Halloween-time antics as Christmas in October. As for Democrats, they'll just have to hope the senator wasn't partaking in a celebration of the Day of the (Electorally) Dead.

Ryan Masse ([email protected]) is the editorial board chairman of The Badger Herald.