The menstrual cycle. That dreaded time of the month where it feels like you’re losing all of the blood in your body. How could one possibly feel sexy when all you can do is bed rot and eat your favorite comfort foods? This thought, however, is based on a common misconception about periods. “The cycle” isn’t just one phase, but four hormonal phases that your body goes through. It’s entirely possible to feel sexy during any and all of these phases. But, what does each phase of the cycle mean, and how can you navigate your sex lives during them?

The Menstrual Phase:

The menses or menstrual cycle starts on the first day of your period. This is when the lining of the uterus is shedding. You’re bleeding, you’re cramping, and you’re craving. This phase usually lasts for about 5-7 days but it’s not uncommon for it to last as little as 3 or as long as 12.  

Most of us associate this phase with pain and mess. But thankfully, there are some workaround options available through the University of Wisconsin-Madison’s student organization, Sex Out Loud. SOL offers tuxedo black condoms, which are an excellent choice for period sex as the dark color can hide the appearance of blood. Also available through SOL are lorals, which are a wearable barrier for oral-vulva (or oral-anal) contact. Lorals are offered in bikini or brief styles that come in black or peach coloring. If you’re a little uncomfortable performing oral sex on your partner during their period, lorals are an excellent option. Additionally, you could always try a flex disc. These are a menstrual product that catches blood instead of absorbing it. With flex discs, they can remain inserted during sexual activity, which can help provide blood free period sex. And yes, all of these products are offered for free at SOL.

Before we engage in any form or sexual activity, you gotta get consent! With relation to the menstrual phase of your period, be sure to have conversations with your partner centered around each other’s boundaries. Feeling stuck? Here are some potential communication topics to break the ice: 

• Blood: bleeding can act as a natural lubricant when doing anything insertive, this helps avoid microtearing and typically increases pleasure. 
• Pain: If you or your partner experience painful periods, orgasms can reduce cramping so forget the Midol and throw down a towel. 
• Kink: If consensual pain is a part of your sex life, your pain tolerance may decrease when bleeding, this is good to keep in mind before getting too freaky. 

The Follicular Phase: 

This phase begins at the very end of the period and ends right as you’re beginning to ovulate. It’s anywhere from 6-14 days. This is when estrogen levels rise, the lining on the uterus is thickening, and a fully mature egg will form. Typically during this phase people report having more motivation, energy, and creativity. It’s likely that you’ll have a higher sex drive, especially during the end of the follicular phase as it overlaps with ovulation. You’re more likely to get pregnant in the last 5 days of the follicular phase leading into ovulation, as well as during ovulation, so be sure to use protection if that’s not your desired outcome. Though you can become pregnant at any time during the menstrual cycle.

The Ovulation Phase:

Ovulation is the shortest phase in the cycle, but it tends to be when people report feeling the sexiest. This occurs around day 10-14 and lasts about 1-3 days. An egg releases itself into the fallopian tube and “waits” to be fertilized by sperm. You may experience wet and slippery discharge, breast pain, and a heavily increased sex drive. During ovulation, the cervix softens and rises in the abdomen, meaning that deeper entry positions may feel better during this time. Since it’s more likely that you’re more aroused, the shape of the vagina will expand, becoming longer and wider. This is the time to try new things and positions that may be less enjoyable during other phases. 

The Luteal Phase:

The Luteal phase is the longest phase in the cycle, lasting from day 15 to day 28. This is when the egg leaves the ovary and travels to the uterus. During this phase, people tend to report feeling symptoms of body dysmorphia, bloating, excess appetite or no appetite at all, and mood swings. Discharge during this phase is typically thick, dry and paste-like. Since most people report having pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) during this phase, you may crave emotional intimacy during sex. If you’re feeling up to it in the luteal phase, this is when we suggest taking it slower and “making love.”

Learning about your cycle is an important piece of knowledge that can help you understand your body further. Again, don’t forget that SOL offers free safer sex supplies with anonymous pickup through their website. Now get out there and make the most of your intimacy with your new found knowledge!

Editors note: The Hump Day column is a collaboration with Sex Out Loud, an organization that promotes healthy sexuality through sex-positive education and activism.