October is waning and everyone’s getting in the holiday spirit by wearing their most mysterious mask, dusting off the old ball and chains, and readying their best leather whip. What’s that? You think we’re talking about Halloween? No silly! We’re celebrating National Kink Month, of course.

Every Autumn during ‘Kinktober,’ the inner freak is unleashed. But what is a kink? At UW-Madison’s peer-to-peer sexual health resource, Sex Out Loud (SOL), kink is defined as “a set of practices that may be incorporated into sexual play or intimacy building that are considered to be outside of the conventional sexual script.” As such, this leaves a lot of creative room for defining what a kink can be. 

Something commonly practiced in kink are rope ties, here is how to do one:

1 Column tie: The column refers to any part of the body that will be tied

1. Gather both ends of the rope together and fold in half. The hoop formed is the “bight.”
2. Lay and wrap the rope around the body part one to three times.
3. Cross the rope and the bight, pulling in opposite ways.
4. Tuck the bight under the wrap (You should be able to slide 2 fingers under the ties at all times).
5. Pull the loose ends of ropes through the bight into a square knot.

Agreement/Consent/Risk-Aware Consent (RACK) : 

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink is a term used in the BDSM community to ensure all parties are aware of the potential harms that come from certain acts and are still giving consent. Sex Out Loud defines consent as: A clear, freely given, informed, continuous yes and not just the absence of a no. While you may enjoy some pain, acknowledge risks and set up safety plans with your partner. 

Safeword: A previously established word used to indicate the scene or activity must immediately stop

The safeword should be unique, but not too complicated so that it can be remembered or hastily spoken. Some prefer check-in systems that incorporate “caution, slow down/ I’m almost at my breaking point” or the stoplight system (red, yellow, green – don’t assume green/yes).

As always, establish boundaries, talk about aftercare and enjoy yourself this ‘Kinktober’.

For any further questions, SOL can be contacted at [email protected] or in person at 333 East Campus Mall Suite 3143, Monday through Friday, 10am to 6pm.

Editors note: The Hump Day column is a collaboration with Sex Out Loud, an organization that promotes healthy sexuality through sex-positive education and activism.