Happy Hump Day, Badgers!

Over the course of the semester, Sam and I have received tons of questions about fetishes. You’ve asked us about everything from foot fetishes to leather fetishes, from butt fetishes to the fetishes that you think are too taboo to even name. You want to know which fetishes actually exist and which are urban myths, which are “normal” and which could land you in jail for a little while. So this week, I’ll fill you in about fetishes and paraphilias and be back again next semester to keep answering your burning sex questions.

First thing’s first: Let’s define what fetish actually means and see how it differs from paraphilia. According to the experts, you have a fetish for something when your sexual desire is linked to an object or part of the body that is not primarily sexual in nature; think feet, ears, knee-high boots – whatever your heart desires. Some of the most common fetishes include women’s underwear, feet and materials like silk and nylon.

Now, the term fetish is different from paraphilia, which is a preoccupation with the object or body part you fetishize to such a great degree that you depend upon that object for sexual gratification. Here’s an example: maybe you get super aroused when your partner wears fishnet stockings. Your fetish only becomes a paraphilia when you need those fishnets to become aroused – the fishnets are essential to your sexual satisfaction.

As for types of fetishes? We’ve got a bunch. If you have a media fetish, then what matters to you is the material of the object you’re interested in. Media fetishes include leather, silk, rubber and latex fetishes. People have media fetishes for every texture imaginable, from feathers to plastic bags. If you have a form fetish, then what matters to you is the shape of the object. The best example of a form fetish is the broad category of shoes: people have fetishes for all shapes of shoes, from stiletto heels to pointed toes and even steel-toed boots. Another type of fetish is the animate fetish, in which all fetishes for human body parts are classified; feet, hair, knees and nipples are all examples of animate fetishes.

So, what’s a “normal” fetish? As you may already be thinking, the term “normal” is highly subjective. What’s normal to someone who eats candy bars for breakfast might seem entirely abnormal to someone who lets their six cats sleep in bed with them every night (not judging). We all do things differently, and we all like different things in bed. If you ask me, we could learn a thing or two from our different tastes. What I’m trying to get at is that there’s no clear way to categorize a fetish as “normal” or not; it all comes down to what you like, or in this case, what you really like.

But we can sort fetishes by which are legal and which will land you some jail time. I’m sure you’re all thinking what I’m about to say: pedophilia. Pedophilia is the adult obsession of engaging in sexual activity with prepubescent children, and it is illegal by law in the U.S. and will land you, if convicted, not only in jail, but also on the sexual predator list.

Another illegal paraphilia is exhibitionism, or sexual gratification from exposing one’s genitals in public, including actively masturbating in front of the victim. This is also known as flashing and can also qualify you as a sexual predator, according to U.S. law. Another fetish that’s, erm, frowned upon by law is symphorophilia, or sexual arousal from staging car accidents. Yeah, I’m gonna go ahead and discourage this one.

Now, you also wanted to hear about some of the more rare, peculiar fetishes, so I dug up some of the craziest fetishes I could find. Whether they’re true or urban myths – well, that’s up for debate.

You may have heard of this fetish, which has recently become fairly mainstream: ursusagalmatophilia, the sexual desire to dress up in large, furry, plush animal costumes (anyone else lusting after Bucky?). Then we have dendrophilia: arousal by trees, and catheterophilia: the sexual interest in the use of catheters … ouch. Agalmatophilia is the fetish involving statues, mannequins or general immobility. Just how this works out, I’m not quite sure, but there you have it.

There’s also hybristophilia, the sexual desire for criminals no matter their crime. And in line with the popularity of the “Twilight” series, hematolagnia is the fetish for sexual thoughts or acts concerning blood, while odaxelagnia is the fetish for being bitten. Fun fact for those of you out there with a vampire fetish: You can now buy “The Vamp,” a dildo that’s supposed to be Edward’s … ya know. It’s pale and sparkly and can even be refrigerated. Rawr.

Finally, for those of you who mailed in with questions about how to meet other locals with fetishes, I’d suggest you check out fetlife.com (think facebook for fetishes). You can build a profile on the site telling others about your fetish and then search for others according to sexual interests. For some people, it can be a little intimidating to open up about your fetish to others, but the Internet is a great way to find a community where you don’t have to think twice about holding back.

Well, Badgers, that’s it from me for the semester. Thanks to all the loyal followers and those of you who submitted questions this fall. Be sure to take a break from studying for finals and check out the last column of the semester next week with Sam, and have a warm and safe winter break! xoxo