I am writing in response to a Milwaukee judge’s decision to dismiss the civil case against Sigma Chi, two years after a girl said she was raped there.

I am not writing to discuss the case itself, however appalling the judge’s rationale may be. I have no interest in starting comment wars or riling up the people who disturbingly say that people who have been sexually assaulted “were asking for it” through their behavior or appearance. As a sexual assault survivor, I am writing to urge support for this girl and the thousands of others who are left voiceless, even ridiculed for something they didn’t ask for. (I am leaving my name off this letter not because I am voiceless, but because it presents a safety issue.)

It is absolutely vital that claims of sexual assault are taken extremely seriously by friends, family members and co-workers. The hardest part of my struggle has not been dealing with the actual assault itself, but dealing with the loss of my friends through their disloyalty. Of the people I’ve told in the past two years, only one truly supported me and denounced what my aggressor and his supporters did. Others chose to stay friends with my abuser and tormented me by saying I was “overreacting” to the abuse. Others to this day support one particular tormentor.

It is our job as decent human beings to fully investigate claims of sexual abuse, even when it presents awkward social situations or makes us question our friends. There are no “sides” when rape and sexual abuse are involved. When survivors tell their friends of the abuse and friends defend the abusers, it can lead to further traumatization. I should know, because when I felt incredibly unsupported by my peers, I attempted suicide. The situation left me with a diagnosis of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and a semester’s worth of lost time.

As of Sunday afternoon, there is one hateful comment on The Badger Herald’s Sigma Chi article, which reads “Justice served. This case was bullshit from the start and ‘Jane Doe’ was just looking for a payday. Better luck next time!” This is unacceptable behavior. This woman was brave enough to not only give a full-length interview about the assault that was published in the Herald, she also reported it and took it to court. According to the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network, an estimated 60 percent of sexual assaults are not reported to the police.

My heart goes out to this girl, and if any of her friends are reading this, I urge them to support her and stay on her side through what might result in another wave of hateful comments and messages. No one deserves to be abused, physically, sexually or emotionally.

If you’re reading this and you have a friend or acquaintance who has told you they’ve been sexually assaulted, listen to them. Never tell them that their emotions are overreactions. And if you have a friend who has been accused of sexual assault, even if you think they are not capable of such a monstrosity, it is your responsibility as a human being to confront them about it and defend the truth, no matter how ugly it may turn out.

A UW senior and sexual assault survivor