In my fair share of nights at Hawk’s, the City and Ian’s… blackout was a good friend of mine. As my longtime roommate would say, “Every story you tell starts with ‘Apparently last night…'” Regarding to the murders and attacks that happened on campus in the last two years, my dad said to me, “You know, you just can’t make that mistake; you can’t afford that.” He was referring to the late night, solo treks home I had stupidly been committing — putting myself right into the next batch of unaware, drunk girls who disappear and wind up on the cover of the Wisconsin State Journal. Stupid. Ladies, he was right — we can’t afford to take those chances.

In the last year, I have decided to gradually stop drinking. At first, it was because of those regrettable decisions and dedication to dance, but now it’s a subconscious choice I don’t event think about. I still go to the bars and will go wild downstairs in Madison’s, but you won’t find me bingeing on pizza at 3 a.m., making out with the creeper or walking home alone with no phone or conscious mind about me. I even made it through a summer in Manhattan with only about four glasses of wine to my name — and had the best time of my life, met an amazing guy who also doesn’t drink often and made unmatched professional contacts in my field.

However, what has surprised me most is the total lack of support I’ve had from friends, even best friends, concerning the decision to curb my drinking. To my chagrin it has caused monumental battles — “You’re ruining my birthday; you don’t want me to have fun… Why won’t you drink?!” I couldn’t fathom why my friends who knew the horrible decisions I was making would harass me so vehemently. Why did they need me to be as wasted and belligerent as them?

Lucky for me, my involvement in cultural organizations on campus has yielded support and options for going out that don’t exclude drinking, but also do not center on it. The African Students Association and India Student Association both host great parties at the Angelic, Le Chard and the Majestic all focused on sweat ’til you drop dancing and hot international music.

Recently ASA, ISA and the Wiconsin Black Student Union collaborated to throw a Halloween party at the Cardinal Bar, where alcohol was available, but the focus was on energy, dancing and bhangra, hip-hop and African music. Ticket sales topped $2,000 (profits went to educational events put on by the organizations), and the entry line was down the street the entire night. Even though the bar was there, the excitement of having such a diverse group of people together, going crazy and having fun, totally diverted the attention away from alcohol. Who wants to dance with that sloppy guy who doesn’t realize the rank gases he is releasing into the room or the wasted female who pukes onto your new Chucks?

These events prove that while not everyone wants to stop drinking heavily, the whole “don’t be the only jackass with club soda” mentality should be obsolete.

When the focus is taken off alcohol, it shifts to conversation and relationships. By attending events put on by ISA and ASA, I have established some of the most meaningful, genuine friendships I will come out of UW with.

In addition to new friendships, I have seen my pre-professional career catalyze. Although we are constantly fed images in the media of “business over drinks,” let me tell you from personal experience that it always serves you better as a junior, less-experienced employee or prospective employee to be the sober one. Whether at the staff Christmas party for my internship or with casual informational interviews at the Dane, I am on top of my game, even if my senior counterpart is slurring. No matter how comfortable a networking situation feels, the future employer who matters will remember you for being surprisingly mature and abstaining from drinking (no matter how many martinis he or she offer you at the time).

Don’t be afraid to stand out — in the end it is so worth it.

Please continue the conversation at uwbinge.ning.com

Audrey Buchanan ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism.