Tuesday, November 11, 2025 marks arguably one of the most important days in all of human history: the day Andy Richter left the “Dancing with the Stars” studio and went home. It is no shocker that Andy, better known to me as Buddy’s dad’s coworker in “Elf,” doesn’t particularly have a talent for dance. But apparently, people who partake in DWTS voting disagree.

And at first, that was funny! Some may even call it “cute,” if he was over the age of 65 (which he is not). It was fun watching him enjoy himself on stage, knowing there was no possible way he’d make it anywhere near the finals.

But then, the narrative shifted. We lost Scott. We lost Jen. We intentionally lost sight of Andy’s footwork via fog. Who didn’t we lose? Andy.

It was torture. Every Tuesday night was spent sitting in agony in front of the TV, piled onto a couch built for two with all five of my roommates, begging for the DWTS producers to just put us out of our misery. Were these bots voting for Andy? Should I have bought Instagram followers in middle school to avoid this? Had someone hacked the system? Nothing added up. Every vote for Andy was a vote against choreography, against rhythm, against beat, against democracy.

We were witnessing a cultural collapse in real time. Andy himself knew it wasn’t right — we saw it. Every time God spared him of what he knew he deserved, the look on Andy’s face told us all we needed to know. It was the same look as the cast of “Moonlight” walking on stage to receive their Oscar after “La La Land” was mistakenly announced as winner: the profound awareness that the universe had glitched, but in their favor.

Then finally, the prophecy was fulfilled. Families and friends around the world crossed their fingers, ate 12 green grapes, saged the TV — and it happened. Andy was eliminated. The world rejoiced and downstairs neighbors everywhere complained about the cheering upstairs.

And Andy? Well, Andy nodded solemnly — as if to say, “Yes, this is right. This is where my journey ends.”

In the end, justice was served. Peace was restored. We were reminded that it is not in fact “about the journey,” but the end result. And that was obtained.

Rest assured, ballroom floors everywhere are safe once again.