BeReal — the anti-social media social media app — has taken the world by storm. But at what cost?

Daily Cardinal readers ask themselves this questions after BeReal exposed their beloved student newspaper as being “fake as fuck.”

Abigail Hisslebergler, an avid Daily Cardinal reader, said she was reading the Cardinal’s blurry, poorly printed pages with a magnifying glass when her BeReal notification went off. 

“I immediately dropped what I was reading — or at least what I was trying to read,” Hissleberlger said. “The pages were really blurry. Anyways, I dropped what I was reading because, uh, duh, it was Be-fucking-real time. But when I tried to post a picture of me reading the Cardinal, nothing was there!”

Hisslebergler said there was a big gaping hole where the Daily Cardinal should’ve been. Then, BeReal sent her a notification that the Daily Cardinal didn’t meet its terms and conditions of not being a “Fake-ass b*tch.”

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Hissbergler said she was heartbroken. 

“Now I look like a dumb bitch,” Hisslebergler said. “Just a dumb, illiterate bitch sitting in the Rath, not reading a student newspaper.”

Lucky for her, one last copy of The Badger Herald was sitting by — the rest had just flown off the shelves. 

“Now this is journalism,” Hisslebergler said, gratefully accepting a brand-new iPhone, given to her free of charge courtesy of a nice Badger Herald journalist who happened to be walking by. The iPhone was already preloaded with all of Hissleberlger’s personal data, courtesy of The Badger Herald.

“Wait, how did you guys get my personal information?” Hisslebergler said.

The Badger Herald journalist asked her if she was going to say thank you for the new iPhone or go run back to the fake Cardinal like a baby. 

“I’ll take the phone,” Hissleberger said, glancing around for help. “Thank you, Badger Herald.”

When Hissleberger took her new BeReal, this time of The Badger Herald, the picture showed up perfectly. Immediately, BeReal reached out personally to congratulate her on taking the most clear, creative, journalistic and REAL BeReal of all time.

“Wow, would you look at that?” Hissleberger said. “The Badger Herald shows up on my BeReal. That’s some good journalism right there. Now, could you please stop breathing in my ear?”