Just admit, this needs to come to an end.

Bubbler

Is it a water gun? Is it a children’s toy? Is it a bidet? No, by some miracle, it’s actually a water fountain! I am of the firm belief that this word accounts for half the reason Midwesterners are stereotyped as overly nice “Fargo” characters. All credibility goes out the window once this bit of lingo is uttered, so congratulations, you just became the kid who orders buttered noodles at a five-star restaurant.

Geeked

I really am at a loss for words with this one. I have asked my sconnie roommate several times to define this word, provide its part of speech and even use it in a sentence. As far as I know, “geeked” is an ambiguous term that can be used to describe anything ranging from a dank party to a really great episode of “Duck Dynasty.” But please correct me if I’m wrong.

Yacked

According to Merriam Webster, “yak” is defined as, “A large long-haired wild or domesticated ox of Tibet and adjacent elevated parts of central Asia.” On the other hand, a term near and dear to my east coast heart, “boot,” can be defined as what happens before you rally and pound four more Vegas bombs, you fucking savage.

Pop

Coca-Cola is not your father so please just call it “soda.” America already has its hands full combating “daddy” culture so it would just be better for everyone if we nipped this in the bud.

Anything pronounced with a long “a”

I have started avoiding going to the grocery store because I fear that one day soon, I, much like the cashier, will begin referring to the object used to carry my goods as a “bayg.” I sometimes jolt awake in the middle of the night to find myself drenched in a cold sweat, suffering from the aftershock of a recurring nightmare where I return home to Connecticut for Thanksgiving only to be excommunicated by my family for asking my mom to “please pass the “cayrrots.”