After a fun night out this past Saturday, I stopped at JD’s food cart for a late night snack. They don’t really have a menu posted and I had never been before, so I asked what the best thing on the menu was.

The woman working behind the counter recommended I get the steak sandwich so I went with it, and being the dickhead pranksters that they are, they left me a nice surprise to find when I opened the bag at home. This is a list of why JD’s can go fuck themselves, but goddammit am I jealous of their pranking abilities.

1. Like seriously, what the fuck is this?

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

2. If you look closely, the bread is soaking wet which always makes for a great attribution to a sandwich.

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

3. Mmmm how about that beef patty? I think my favorite part is how it wasn’t even cooked through, but parasites are in now so it’s cool.

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

4. Fresh vegetables? More like fresh out the garbage! HA! It’s OK, though. I eat food out of the trash more than the average person.

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

5. Let’s take a step back for a second. They had all of these ingredients ready so they could do this. How sadistic do you have to be to plan this? Who do you think you are, The Joker?

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

6. Is that mayonnaise and mustard or did you just liquify your dandruff and put it on an uncooked burger? Honestly, either answer is fine.

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

7. It might be hard to see in the pictures, but you can’t forget about the unmelted cheese on the bottom. At least they had the decency to add cheese, thank the lord.

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

8. If you look closely enough, I’m pretty sure this “sandwich” liquified the wrapping paper under it. It’s probably just because of the hydrochloric acid they poured on it, no big deal, though.

Daniel Chinitz/The Badger Herald

As somebody who weirdly loves getting pranked, good job JD’s. I applaud you because this is actually a hilarious prank. However, as a consumer, a (fairly) decent human being and lover of steak sandwiches, you can seriously go fuck yourselves and I hope this article gets you a visit from the health inspector.

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