Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald


Who is Madison’s Thong Cape Scooter Man?

Exploring the mind of Madison’s baron of bareback motoring
‘Thong Cape Scooter Man’ Facebook

Madison residents revere the man like Gotham does Batman.

His cape flaps at length in the wind, a standard of freedom for all. His scooter is mighty, a vehicle befitting a king. His nude thighs shine in the Wisconsin sun, drawing the attention of all those nearby.

The hero in question is, of course, Thong Cape Scooter Man.


His name says it all — this Madison resident has made a name for himself riding the roads of the isthmus in an eye-catchingly minimalist outfit consisting of a thong, a cape and a helmet. Occasionally his getup varies by season or holiday, incorporating a skeleton or stuffed monkey passenger, as well as an array of colorful capes.

Though the man has amassed more than 5,000 likes on Facebook, much about him remains a mystery. Who is this mystery motorist? Where are his pants? Were they stolen? Who will buy him a new pair?

We took to the internet to learn more about this free-wheeling character, and discovered his Twitter, @Maddogbry.

Two things became immediately obvious:

  1. His name is Bryan.
  2. His madness extends beyond the scooter.

We’ve cultivated highlights from a year’s worth of tweets to help all of you get to know this local hero.

Bryan’s darling children

Conclusion: Bryan married a bird. What occupies the rest of his home? Is it similarly filled with birds? Does he have human children? This raises more questions than it answers.

Bryan tries out hashtags

A for effort, Bryan! Is not watching Star Wars weird? Not really. Is donning a thong and riding around in public weird? Maybe. But don’t stop.

Bryan’s puzzles

What are these devices? Are they food? We don’t know either. What about the tiny metal plate beside them? Is that food? Is it a bad frisbee? We hope you get your answers soon.

Bryan’s pizza preferences

If nothing else, Bryan is a man of consistency. From what we can tell, Pizza Hut’s super supreme pizza has steadily climbed the culinary ranks to become Bryan’s favorite pizza in town.

Whatcha smelting, Bryan?

A smelter? Bargain-priced candlesticks? Something mysterious is at play here. What’s going on?

…… oh.

Delightful! I’m glad I followed through with this.

Bryan’s big adventure

It seems that Bryan’s eccentric taste in clothing (or lack thereof) applies to many avenues of his life. There’s no better part of being in nature than getting a mosquito bite on your scrotum!

Holiday season for Bryan

We’re sorry about this. Happy holidays!

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