It might be time to put a Wisconsinite in the White House.
Over the past week, Todd McWilliams has begun establishing a political foothold by erecting several self-promotional billboards in the Madison area. The signs show McWilliams stern-faced and posed in front of a billowing American flag, radiating the unflinching patriotism expected of contemporary candidates. But, the conventionality of this presidential hopeful ends here.
The billboards promote his goal to “Build a Wall to Keep the FIBs Out,” and a look at his website reveals the true heroism of his platform. His personal biography says he jumped over the Isthmus on a motorcycle, and he references his political experience beginning with his position as residence hall governor at the University of Wisconsin-Platteville.
His stance on nearly every issue relevant to national politics centers on recruiting World Wrestling Entertainment champion John Cena to assist in every aspect of running a country, from fighting ISIS to persuading potential illegal immigrants to go to Papua New Guinea instead.
“I’d like to have him in my campaign. I reached out to his talent agency and talked to a few people, and he’s supposed to get back to me with his decision if he wants to be part of the campaign,” McWilliams said. “I believe he’s the guy to help us with our defense.”
Boasting more commitment to professional wrestling than any other candidate, McWilliams clearly has what it takes to be a frontrunner in the upcoming election.
But where did McWilliams get the funding for such an elaborate launch to his campaign?
It certainly helps that he is the general manager of Adams Outdoor Marketing, the advertising firm that put up the billboards in the first place. He told the Associated Press that two sales assistants and an art director at his company helped formulate the platform, and stated his campaign isn’t serious.
“It’s kind of making fun of the whole campaign that’s going on right now, how ridiculous it is,” he told the AP.
Despite comical roots, it’s hard to deny the appeal of a man who promises to get jean-short-wearing, meme-spawning John Cena in charge of national defense. McWilliams said he is in the process of officially registering as a write-in candidate, and is banking it all on an endorsement from The Champ.
“I’m assuming John Cena’s coming through,” McWilliams said. “At this point it’s John Cena or bust.”
