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The Student News Site of University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Badger Herald

The Student News Site of University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Badger Herald

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B.o.B knows when that Flatline bling

Hip-hop artist’s planetary claims fall flat as Twitter brawl ensues
B.o.B+knows+when+that+Flatline+bling
Flickr user NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center

B.o.B no longer concerns himself with matters as trivial as headbands.

Earlier this week, an ambitious and spirited Twitter tirade sparked national controversy when hip-hop artist B.o.B released several dozen tweets encouraging his followers to sit back and reconsider the shape of the Earth. Apparently, people get really mad when you open up that can of worms.

In the heat of another iconic social media feud, rapper B.o.B released a diss track directed at notable astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, perhaps best described as the lovechild between Meek Mill’s Drake diss and an infant smashing his tiny fists on a Garageband keyboard.

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Notable lyrics include but are not limited to:

1. “Aye, Neil Tyson need to loosen up his vest / They’ll probably write that man one hell of a check”

2. “I can’t even keep my phone charged up”

Fair. I totally feel that. Not sure how it relates to this particular planetary orbit? Could Google it but my phone’s dead.

3. “I see only good things on the horizon / That’s probably why the horizon is always rising”

Well, except when it’s not, at all.

4. “Do your research on David Irving / Stalin was way worse than Hitler / That’s why the POTUS gotta wear a kippah”

David Irving is a famous Holocaust denier, for the record, and no, the POTUS really not “gotta wear a kippah,” like ever, in the history of the spherical world.

Though B.o.B goes out of his way to insert a generous Neil sample, this cosmologist had much more to say on the matter.

To the tune of Back to Back, Drake’s fiery, out-of-this-very-much-3D-world, Neil slams the hip-hop artist as brutally as another Tyson we know in “Flat to Fact.”

“All those strange clouds must be messing with your brain,” topped only by “I’m in the Hayden Planetarium gettin’ shoulder rubs,” topped only by the best outro of all time:

“Dude — to be clear: Being five centuries regressed in your reasoning doesn’t mean we all can’t still like your music.”

There you have it. After an exhausting week of Twitter angst, you can bet Neil is cozying up and relaxing with an Encylopedia Britannica while B.o.B is wincing as “once you go flat you never go back” is tattooed on his upper thigh. What a time to be alive on this globoid planet we call home.

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