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The Badger Herald

The Student News Site of University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Badger Herald

The Student News Site of University of Wisconsin-Madison

The Badger Herald

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Frosty phallus erected on Gordon Commons arouses attention from passersby

Wintry wang adds subzero sex appeal to lawn
Frosty+phallus+erected+on+Gordon+Commons+arouses+attention+from+passersby
Aaron Hathaway

Madison got a few more inches of snow Monday night.

Taking advantage of the night’s snowfall, a group of nocturnal no-gooders indulged their creative urges by constructing a large snowy schlong on the lawn of Gordon Commons.

From the base of the brisk balls up to the tip of the glacial glans, this phallic monolith rises approximately 3 feet skyward and measures roughly 2 feet in girth.

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The polar penis stands erect in the middle of the lawn, its presence free of competition by neighboring snow structures. Enjoying considerable visibility in a high-traffic location, the arctic organ presents a focal point for pedestrians and drivers alike.

Traditional snowmen appeared all over campus following the snowfall, but this hyperborean hard-on appears to be the only example of a narrowed anatomical focus.

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