Are you fearing that you’ll be crying in your room eating a mixture of fried chicken and an ironically heart-shaped box of chocolates this Valentine’s Day? Well, fear not. This Valentine’s Day is all about self-love — inside and outside of the bedroom.

If a relationship is your ultimate goal, being in a healthy relationship with yourself is the first and most important step towards finding that. Even if you’re not looking for a relationship, self-love is important in creating healthy habits that will contribute to boosting your self-esteem.

So, for this Valentine’s Day, let’s have a “treat yo’self” day instead of a “cry in your bedroom and binge-watch rom-coms instead of go to class” day.

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Buy yourself some treats and explore yourself

Being with a partner — or multiple — can be an incredibly sensual experience. But it can also be a total shit show if you don’t know what you want (or if they don’t know either). So for this Valentine’s Day, spice it up in the bedroom by buying yourself some toys and massage oil or lube. That way, the next time you are with a partner, you can tell them exactly what you want and how you want it.

For toys, if you’re looking to go a really cheap option, an electric toothbrush from your local drugstore can work wonders for all genders. To use this device effectively, hold the bristle end in your hand and the stem of the toothbrush on your skin. Use with caution though — they’re not meant to be used as a sex toy, obviously. Be gentle on yourself and remember, electric toothbrushes are much stronger than you might anticipate the first time.

If you’re a beginner looking for something more within the realm of conventional sex toys, a vibrating bullet can also do the trick. They have different speeds for your different needs.  Using a bullet vibrator is fun because you can use it all around your body without worrying whether or not it’ll be too rough on your skin (like a toothbrush might be). Double-team that with lube, and you’re all set for the night.

If you’re looking for a confidence booster, buy yourself some lingerie or sexy garments for this V-Day. You can wear that under some clothes and undress in front of a full-length mirror and watch yourself look like an irresistible snack. Take it a step further and take some naked pictures of yourself. Learning to love your body is an important step for achieving self-love.

Treating yourself doesn’t just extend to buying yourself sex products. If you’re looking to spice up your solo act, search some things on the internet that you were maybe too shy to try with a partner. The internet can be a crazy place for porn, but it’s a good place to start if you think you may have a fantasy you’d like to try and give you ideas on how to start playing it out. Be wary of your search history, though. Here’s some tips on how to go incognito.

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Treat yourself like you’d want someone else to treat you 

Take yourself out on a date on Valentine’s Day. Dress in your finest outfit and make a reservation for one at that place you’ve been dying to try and have yourself a feast. This way, you don’t have to impress anyone except yourself. You also won’t go in with any expectations except that you will be satisfied by the most delicious thing on the menu (and you don’t have to worry about eating “politely.”)

If you’re looking to spice this idea up, try going commando under your finest attire. Knowing a sexy secret that no one else knows makes it that much hotter.