The overly hyped, even by gossip column standards, 2007 MTV Video Music Awards turned into a complete debacle Sunday night. The show aired live from the Palm's Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, complete with half-cracked, half-asleep announcers, a dull lineup and a host of sound problems. While 11 awards were scheduled to be given, only eight were actually announced. Most of the show consisted of live clips of celebrities' parties simultaneously in the suites of the resort, which stretched the bounds of censorship to encompass every other sound bite.
The opening act was an eagerly anticipated event, if only because viewers were anxious to see if Britney Spears would slip on her own drool. Without fanfare, the show opened with the determined-to-exploit-and-be-exploited Britney stumbling out, dressed in a black glittery bra and underwear ensemble and thigh-high black boots. To add further fuel to the embarrassment, she introduced herself as "It's Britney, bitch," and launched into her new single, "Gimme More."
Britney's entrance did not avoid, but glorified her trashy reputation. Lest the viewer forget where Ms. Spears is most comfortable, numerous stripper poles proudly lined the stage. Her dancers dragged each other across the pink and black strobe lighting while Britney humped the ones that remained standing. The lyrics were both tasteless and boring. She barely danced.
The cameramen were clearly unimpressed as well, because they sporadically panned across the audience. But even P. Diddy and 50 Cent looked bored. On a positive note, at least Britney's wig didn't fall off.
Of course, Sarah Silverman did not spare comment on Britney's performance. One line on the subject of Britney's offspring almost made the whole affair worth it: "They are the most adorable mistakes you will ever see." Unfortunately, no Paris Hilton jokes were to be had, although she received some dutiful camera action.
Rihanna and Jay Z's song, "Umbrella" won Monster Single of the Year and Video of the Year. This irritating song was destined to win; it's been played seemingly every second for the past four months. Justin Timberlake took home two awards for Quadruple Threat of the Year and Best Male Artist. Beyonce took home the award for Most Earth-Shattering Collaboration for her song, "Beautiful Liar." Sadly, the Most Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Performance Award was nowhere to be found.
One of the few genuine highlights of the night was Chris Brown's performance, which merged into Rihannah's performance of "Umbrella." Rihannah looked gorgeous in her black bodysuit and heels. Chris Brown, in his messy suspender outfit, rocked the dance floor to Michael Jackson's "Billy Jean" to finish up the performance. Justin Timberlake even complimented him at the end of the night for his outstanding performance. Chris Brown will surely be a huge star in the near future.
It seemed, in spite of all reason, that everyone who was anyone in the music industry was at the VMAs, except for Fergie, who won the award for Female Artist of the Year. An awkward moment occurred when Ludacris was asked to pick up Fergie's trophy in her absence and he refused, telling the announcer to "take it home." Even Miss South Carolina Teen USA graced us with her presence. She reiterated how educated she is by talking about "the South America and the Iran."
Alicia Keys' performance gave viewers chills with her amazing rendition of the gospel song, "Freedom." Justin Timberlake, Nelly Furtado, and Timbaland performed the finale. Justin's dance moves were amazing as usual. The three finished their performance together singing the beginning of Timbaland's song, "Give It To Me." They certainly ended the show much better than it began.
The MTV VMAs are surely not what they used to be — whatever that was. The show's timing seemed off, and I found myself bored for the majority of the show. If the VMAs want to compete with the Grammys, Emmys or even Sellery Hall Idol, they need to put some serious effort into composing a show next year that surprises in ways other than the ever-decreasing number of syllables Britney can string together for the camera.