I was on Casey Hoff's radio show on Madison 1670 The Pulse Monday talking about Ballsies, and he caught me off-guard by asking me how I felt about "man-purses." I hadn't really thought about it before — I mean, my grandpa carries a "murse" all the time, and it looks like a black camera bag … or a lunchbox.

If a guy wants to carry a purse, that's fine with me, but what do they put inside it? There is no need for lip gloss or tampons. Grandpa probably has a wallet, keys, a phone … all the things that guys usually just shove into their cargo pants or back pockets of their jeans. But old people can't wear cargo pants, and Dockers just don't have big pockets.

I was going to call and ask Grandpa what he kept in his murse, but I didn't want to let him know that I write a sex column, so I hung up the phone. And I think he would have denied that he owned a purse. Why? Because I don't think he would like to be classified as "feminine."

But what's wrong with being feminine? Men can now go shopping, tanning and waxing with their girlfriends. They can sit on the couch and read Men's Vogue as their girlfriends read Vogue right next to them. It's even acceptable to wear "manpris." Why? Because in 1994, the word metrosexual was created in a British daily and, as of 2003, metrosexuals had their own article in The New York Times.

Just like stereotypical gay men, metrosexuals are trendy. They care about their hair and they wear messenger bags. They wear pink polo shirts with the collars popped — oh, wait, that's just frat boys. They know what brand of shampoo they use … and other people use ("That smells like Aveda!"). They own full-size ironing boards and they use loofahs. Most guys don't even know what a loofah is. And, like my boyfriend said, "I don't want to smell that good!" Apparently, part of being a guy is being smelly.

So where does the murse come in when we're talking about metrosexuality? Guys approve of their fellow men dressing nicely (as long as they don't try too hard), taking care of themselves (as long as they don't take too long to get ready) and seem to be OK with limited shopping adventures (as long as they don't spend more money than their girlfriends).

Most girls would probably tolerate a small bag of some sort. If a well-dressed and fashionable metrosexual or homosexual wants to carry a purse, that is fine with us because we don't want to discourage men from being interested in fashion. I've seen girls deal with boyfriends' faux-hawks, velour suits and rat-tails. Even though not all the fashion choices made by men are good, at least they are trying.

But from the guys I spoke with (mostly non-metrosexuals), a purse is where the line is drawn. It was the deciding factor between gay men and straight men, and the addition of a purse to a wardrobe was completely unfathomable to them. Apparently, metrosexuality is OK with most males as long as it is only taken to the halfway point between stereotypically gay and stereotypically straight — and owning a purse is supposedly running full-speed to Gay Town. Is someone a little defensive about his manliness? And do you have to be straight to be metrosexual?

Regardless of what men think, there are definitely some guys who can pull off the murse — ahem, David Beckham. Metrosexuality was born in England, and I wouldn't be surprised if the British were a step ahead of us. Maybe our guy friends will soon be rocking a little bag for their keys and wallets. But maybe not … David Hasselhoff and really tight man-pants are popular in Europe, too.

I would add David Beckham to a list of the newly found "ubersexuals." Apparently there is an emerging breed of men called ubersexuals, and Bono is No. 1 on the list. According to Marian Salzman, the top 10 includes Bill Clinton, Pierce Brosnan, George Clooney and Donald Trump. OK. I'm confused. Pierce Brosnan and George Clooney are super-hot, but Bill Clinton and Donald Trump? Really?

In "The Future of Men," the new book by Salzman, co-written by Ira Matathia and Ann O'Reilly, an ubersexual "still cares about the way he looks — he hasn't given up aesthetically on himself — he's just not doing it to satisfy what the outer world sees him as, he's doing it for how he feels about himself." He works out, but not excessively; he manscapes, but doesn't wax or tan; and he has a group of females he calls good friends. So why is Arnold Schwarzenegger on the list for all of his "pumping"? And I'm sure he's gotten a bikini wax before one of his body-building competitions.

Although the definition of ubersexual is a bit fuzzy, I think I understand what the author is trying to get at (at least with examples like George Clooney — Men's Vogue's premiere "cover guy"). He's a man's man who all the women love, and he does it without effort. He showers, but he doesn't smell too good (no loofahs and scented body washes allowed). He dresses nicely, but doesn't spend $500 on trendy clothing, and he has female friends because he likes their company, not because he wants to get in their pants.

Does he wear a man-purse? I don't know, but if he did, you probably wouldn't even notice, and he wouldn't care what you thought. Maybe Grandpa is an ubersexual. Maybe ubersexuals are really just regular guys. Maybe we should stop labeling men and let them wear and do whatever they want. Is he gay? Is he metrosexual? Is he ubersexual? I don't care, as long as he showers and is polite.

Aubre Andrus is a senior double majoring in journalism and communication arts. She wishes everyone a Happy Halloween and does not condone riotous behavior. She can be reached at [email protected].