Freshman year, I lived in one of those strange situations where I’d lie awake at night listening, unintentionally, to the rhythmic sound of sex. Ogg dormitory has these walls, floors and ceilings that seem to act like loudspeakers at 2:30 in the morning. The unnamed football player one floor above me was quite the stud. He got so much action, I like to say that’s the reason why my sleep suffered and my grades were less than great. I was always so fascinated by his prolonged ability to keep the beat. It was as if he was performing at Carnegie Hall — and let me tell you, I bet it was one hell of concert.
When it comes to great sex, there’s always a couple that has great rhythm. Whether it be kissing, walking or shaking the bed, being in tune and in rhythm is essential. Although sort of awkward and strange, the first few kisses with a new person are an example of what’s to come. That is unless it’s in line at Ian’s pizza at 3 a.m., without so much as an ounce of dignity left after a night of dollar long islands.
If you are so lucky to be sober and in a less drunken environment, then make music not static with those smooches. It’s so sad to be kissing a person and at the same time be thinking: is it her or me? Why is this just not working? Kick it up a few notches and fast-forward and you’ll be thinking, am I bad in bed or is he? Why is this just not working? Sexual chemistry, compatible and rhythm are all essential components to getting it on with style.
“Sexual chemistry” is in large part defined by a couple’s rhythm together. The initial sexual attraction is important, but for the two of you to have sexual chemistry other factors will have to come into play. Besides her tight ass and his hot body there is something hard to define and harder to find with someone.
In my attempt to explain sexual chemistry I came across an interesting way to describe it. Over 2,500 years ago, Plato had a theory of love and sexual chemistry that, while a bit confusing, lends itself to some very interesting ideas. The “twin-soul theory” is borne out of the idea that everyone has another half of his or her soul somewhere in the world and it is our true desire to reunite with it. Plato states of his theory, “…a certain degree of internal balance and happiness must first be nurtured and achieved. Then, during reunion, the essence of one simply flows into the essence of the other to create the completeness. There is no effort involved.” Hence the term “soul mate” was created.
The natural and amazing “chemistry” a couple can feel is borrowing from the same idea. In the simplest terms, a sense of understanding and awareness of each other leads to amazing personal and sexual chemistry.
Sexual chemistry and sexual compatibility are different. Compatibility depends on the sexual act itself, versus the attraction. Finding a partner you are sexually compatible with would seem simple since we live on a campus with over 40,000 peers. While horny, sex-driven students surround us everywhere, finding a person that fits you is often a challenge.
Whether it’s a one-night stand or a long-term relationship, sexual compatibility is the key to great sex. It is also the cornerstone of a healthy relationship now and in future relationships and marriage. It’s in the way you are touched, how you are made to feel and how the two of you negotiate sexual acts. If he’s not willing to give up sticking his tongue in your ear or reciting lines from “Dirty Slut 3,” and you’re not into it, then it’s time to rethink him. This is the same for men that just don’t like their rear end being touched and she insists upon venturing south, backward.
Great rhythm is a byproduct of sexual compatibility. Rhythm in love making, like dance or music, crescendos and decrescendos with ease and beauty. Great sex doesn’t involve switching back and forth between jackhammer pulsing and uncoordinated slow grinding. Women and men are both at fault when it comes to humping in all the wrong ways. He’s going at it, and your thinking, “Oh if I could just tell him to move his hips more.” Or when she’s on top your hands are cupping her butt to steady the pace.
The really great sex doesn’t involve slippage or out-of-whack pelvic grinding. The truly great sex is with someone with whom you have great sexually chemistry, compatibility and great rhythm. Some of this comes from time spent as a couple and then some of it just is natural. For the stud living above me freshmen year, I think he must have been compatible with just about everyone, or at least his squeaky bed made it sound that way.
Lindsey is graduating this semester in graphic design. She freaking out because she actually has to “grow up” in a few weeks … does anyone want to give her a job? Lindsey can be reached at [email protected]
