Kate Spade, green crocodile pumps and the man standing next to me in line. I like a good hunt for a killer skirt just as much as the hunt for the perfect man. I just seem to keeping buying all the defected ones. I’m done trying to learn how to patch up the holes.

So when I find a snag, all I’d really like to do is get a full refund. I’ll sign the little slip, smile and get handed back everything that that relationship cost.

I’m a good customer so I should be allowed some breaks, right?

I shop compulsively, but for more than just a great outfit. Dating seems to be so much like shopping, so you’d think that those of us in credit card debt would know a little more than we do.

Sometimes when in a relationship it’s a lot like being in a two-year phone contract that’s pretty costly to get into and out of.

When the first date with a new person seems just too good to be true, it probably is. Hidden charges apply. She’s beautiful (hot), witty (laughs at your stupid jokes) and is intelligent (doesn’t make you feel like a clown). But that’s all in the beginning.

What happens after the honeymoon phase can change your opinion of your partner forever. When Mr. Metrosexual’s hair gel costs more than your weight in gold, you’ve got a lot more to worry about than the sales tax.

After she losses her halo maybe you start getting annoyed by her picky “I’ll have a salad” eating. So you liked his manly hands in the beginning but those calluses, honey, may be rubbing a lot more than you. Okay, so you only realized that they wear the same clothes all the time and in Seinfeld terminology, you are now dating a “close talker”. What do you do when the milk sours?

An undisclosed friend had just such an encounter with what seemed like a perfect catch. He was tall, but not so tall that you would constantly be getting cramps in your neck. Thick dark hair and cheekbones built for a CK jeans model. He was a beautiful piece of man meat. No beer goggles here.

She saw him several times before deciding to venture south. Things were getting hot and heavy but something was just off, really off. Mr. Klein had no rhythm and no style in bed, and on top of that, there was some seriously false advertising in those kakis.

She felt so cheated. Why did that sale go so wrong she thought? I tried to offer some advice from one shopper to the next but just couldn’t come up with anything remotely intelligent. ” Just because it was bought at Banana Republic doesn’t mean it’s going to fit well.”

Silly yes, but you can find truth in it. Just because you think you’ve found Mr. Perfect does not guarantee the latest chic is going to fit you.

When I find a pair of jeans that makes my ass seem smaller, even if only by an eighth of an inch, I’ll go out and buy that same pair over and over again. Once the first pair stretches and wears out, it’s back to the mall again.

Sadly, I’ve applied that same logic time and time again in my love life as well. This is not a new concept to most of us. Although it is helpful to be reminded that you are doing it.

You’re last love had long brown curly hair and a funny laugh. It’s only naturally to then gravitate to the girl in the back of the party with those same features. Word to the wise, it’s not the same girl. Keep shopping.

Having a ‘type’ is overrated. This is especially true when your type revolves around hair color, muscle build or an ex-girlfriend.

Often these characteristics are just comfortable and safe, resembling the first person that you loved or admired.

It is intimidating for many to date someone that comes from a different cultural background, socio-economic background and outside their race.

When you walk into lecture the first day of class, we tend to scan the room checking everyone out. Stop and think about who you are eliminating from your list of potentials and why.

I’ve fallen pray to my “type,” in more than just one way. I’ve been someone’s type and dated my type at the same time. Maybe I should leave the mall and put away the cash for a while. Possibly go to a shopaholics anonymous meeting.

On the other hand, just because my T-shirt gets a hole in it, doesn’t mean that I walk around without a shirt on.

Lindsey Wasley is a third-year graphics major. She is going into credit card debt. Lindsey can be reached at [email protected]