What’s the worse word you can use to describe someone? It’s ok to say that your girlfriend is hot although beautiful is better — much better. It’s fine to describe your man as smart or even strong, but if you have to resort to the word “nice,” then you’re in trouble. We’ve all been in that situation when a date just didn’t work out like we expected it to. We come home and our friends ask us, “What was it like?” and all you can muster up is “nice.”
‘Nice,’ is the kiss of death for so many men. This is because women don’t want nice they want passion, excitement and a bad boy. This isn’t the 6-foot-five, leather bound, facial tattooed guy of my ArtsEtc. counterparts, the Last Action Heroes. This is also certainly not the good guy that writes inside the margins of his notebook and addresses a woman as “miss.”
“Nice guys finish last” for a reason. If you’re currently a ‘nice guy’ and want be a bad boy, good luck cause you’ll need it. Sorry to say, but you already have a nice guy reputation. So how do you break the curse? I’ve been asked to give some encouragement to the ‘nice’ guys who are falling through the cracks.
While complex, there are certain personality traits that women are more attracted too. These include being unpredictable and uncontrollable. The challenge is then how to shake yourself of the nice guy and become badass. You can start with stop labeling yourself as a nice guy. While you’re at it, unbutton your collar and loosen up.
If I wanted nice in my life I’d screw Mr. Rogers or maybe wear flowers in my hair. Nice men are safe and reliable, but most of all, they are boring. I think I would go insane if I spent the rest of my life with a guy that actually listened to my ramblings about shoes and gossip. Or, god forbid, turned off ESPN Game Day and wanted to talk about our relationship. That’s my job and I won’t have a nice guy coming in and taking that away from me.
It’s kind of strange how women say that they like the nice guys but then rarely actually date them. Chelsea, a University of Wisconsin junior, put it like this well, “I want a nice guy. For me, things in my life are tough enough; I’d rather just have a pretty easy relationship. But when I find a guy that’s TOO nice I want to dump him. I guess maybe when I say I want a “nice” guy I mean the opposite of sleazy, but not boring.” The initial attraction to the nice guy is there. Most women like being catered to, but this attraction will fade into dull amusement, eventually sizzling out without a little fire to keep it going.
The best situation is dating a former bad boy. If that bad boy you’re dating turns good — not nice but good — then it’s ok cause we know that he was once bad. He will still be emotionally unavailable, leaving the woman to spend her free time freaking out about why he’s like this. This is our job to be emotional basket cases; again, I wouldn’t want some nice guy taking this away from me.
Not only do women interpret a nice guy as boring but they also equate nice as being bad in bed. I’ve heard the argument that the nice boys will tend to a woman’s needs better than a bad boy. I disagree because Rambo isn’t going to settle for 10 minutes of missionary. The bad boy will take charge and screw like he means it. It’s sad to say, but once you’ve had one nice guy, you’ve had them all.
Being badass is all relative. Some chicks might think being badass is skipping your last class Friday for FAC while the next girl might want a newly released inmate. Bad boys are always going to be intriguing and slightly unavailable. There is no challenge with a man at your beck and call. Think Brad Pitt’s character in “Fight Club” taking a woman out for nice dinner. A picture of the perfect bad boy should be becoming clear.
Being a bad boy does not mean treating your girl like shit or cheating on her. Rather, a woman wants a man that is a little badass in life and has some balls. As much as we don’t want you in a fight, you better stand up for yourself in a sticky situation. Although women don’t want every girly desire to be indulged, they still expect kindness and the occasional back-rub.
So the “nice guys finish last” theory is true. I am not advocating that all men on campus become a massive group of jerks. You can be a bad boy without standing your girlfriend up or causing her to cry. Don’t confuse being badass with sleaze, just leave a little something for our overactive emotions to analyze.
Lindsey is a junior majoring in graphic design. She is a bad girl that clearly over-analyzes everything. Lindsey can be reached at [email protected].