Gato has finally settled on a presidential candidate, a write-in — John McEnroe, with Venus Williams for vice president. Candor is at the top of Gato's list and, caballeros y damas, have you seen the force in that serve? If Williams isn't peace through strength, Gato doesn't know who is.

Besides, we need a vice president that wears thigh-high Jimmy Choo boots.

For each and every one of us, change can be exhilarating. Gato's cousin Jorge — who thinks he is the only half-Dominican who has ever worked for Bear Stearns, or on Wall Street in general — always talks about how exciting following the federal interest rate will be after Alan Greenspan retires.

Gato himself gets excited about changes in fall fashion in 2004.

Some changes are almost as unexpected as Alan Greenspan showing up to a press conference wearing only pink panties and a tight Juicy Couture T-shirt than standing up on the table to profess — in song — that he had a torrid affair with Ayn Rand while he was a member of her inner circle.

"My flesh still yearns for Ayn's touch," Greenspan sings in a false tenor.

Well, not quite that unexpected. Gato just wanted to put that image of the Fed chairman in pink panties out there to upset his primo Jorge.

Last week, Gato promised to take you to that Connecticut town where Dean Martin and Kate Hepburn hold office and Gato has bought you a ticket on a bullet train.

Gato just wishes the town were in Door County or in Bucks County, Penn., not Connecticut.

For the moment, put "Greenspan: The Musical" out of your mind and think about fall colors and all the cozy, rich-hued and sophisticated knitwear that's arriving for autumn, especially from Korean designer Hiyon Kim.

Like one half of the Bush twins, Laura Bush and the Kerry girls all woven into one, grace and elegance is back in knitwear.

Dios Mio! Gato thinks voting for that sweater would be true democracy!

Kim's work was seen in a spread of the September issue of Nylon magazine and Gato predicts that Hiyon Kim is the designer who will do for knitwear what Kate Spade did for casual handbags.

Guy Bourdin's photos from the '70s are a central touchstone for the Hiyon Kim line and Gato knows that if las gatas get ahold of these beautifully draping designs, they will instantly transform into a hybrid of young Mariel Hemmingway and Diane Keaton.

Sleeves start thin at the shoulder then bell out like an iris opening softly; Kim goes as far as using yarn she has designed herself and her textiles drape more like suits than sweaters.

"I think knitwear could be made into really special and unique clothes," Kim said. "My research [is] also deeply related to '70s Sonia Rykiel. I wanted to put lots of colors and wanted to express modern image of [the] '70s. That's how my collection started."

After Kim graduated college in Seoul, South Korea, with a degree in French literature, she went to London to study design and gravitated toward textiles.

"I experimented in all the other textile areas and the knitted textile design was exactly what I dreamed of," Kim said. "It has colors and textures. And, mostly I could make fashion like what I did to my dolls when I was a kid."

Kim personifies her colorful line as clothes characters that are witty and to the point.

"I spend my childhood in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia and I do think me very much inspired by that time. All the mixture of culture, diversity and exotic elements influenced me I guess."

The Hiyon Kim look is more fitting for a young, up-and-coming New York Observer writer at a dinner party than a wired, wacky, frizzy-haired art teacher, who looks like she walked off the set of a locally produced PBS world music show.

"I wanted to look like modern, sophisticated, expensive, sexy," Kim said of her signature style.

For those who have to be lavish on a budget, (Gracias a Dios, Gato buys wholesale or gets it free!), her line includes scarves, belts, stockings without toes and fingerless gloves that roll up to the shoulders.

Kim parted the interview with these wise words: "Fashion. Fashion includes everything. Fashion needs to know everything," Kim said "I love the moment that my design [is] being worn by the models, creating a mood by concept."

"Fashion needs to know everything." Take notes, Senator Edwards; take notes.

Sweetest Day

Sweetest Day is a test of lover's memory and, for the disappointed, a lesson in tolerance of forgetfulness. With Sweetest Day approaching, Gato is reminded of a story.

Uncle Chuey (pronounced Chewy) married Gato's tia Carmen. Chuey is Chicano and Columbus Day is very upsetting for Uncle Chuey, but more upsetting for his wife.

Every Columbus day, Chuey goes to protest the Christopher Columbus Day Parade. The day usually ends with Chuey and his friends, mostly former Vietnam Veterans, getting in a bareknuckles and two-by-fours fight with the Italian American Workman's Club, also Vietnam Veterans. Tia Carmen ends up bailing Chuey out of jail, year after year.

What does that have to do with Sweetest Day? Instead of obsessing about something that happened 500 years ago, Chuey should be obsessing about luxurious things to buy his wife, Carmen.

Whoever is on top in your love affair, learn from the fable of Uncle Chuey. Here are some quick suggestions at impulse-buy prices:

Mac make-up makes her look better; that's all you have to know chico. Lipsticks are only $14 and the girls at the Marshall Fields in Hilldale can help you match color to your chica's skintone.

For men or women in the beauty product category, Inara Organics is not only fair trade and organic, it also makes skin mas suave, silk sexy than a ballad sung by Luis Miguel. Thirty dollars for the babussu oil.

Really trying to knock her out like a Romeo version of Tito Trinidad? Dick and Jane on State Street carries the new collection of Kate Spade hand bags for $90.

Bochicas about las gemelas Olsens

Gato doesn't know what the Olsen twins will be getting for Sweetest Day, but he does know a little bit about how las gemelas (“twins” in Spanish) have been behaving down on 4th and Broadway.

Sarah E., Gato's source for all things Olsen, served her classmate Mary Kate at Pie By the Pound pizzeria. Mary Kate ordered a one-inch-wide slice of pizza, then after returning to sit at the table with her food friend and musing for a bit, she decided to get up and order another one-inch-wide slice of pizza.

After purchasing a second inch of pizza, she informed Sarah in a great slurred debutante-off-the-wagon voice that "this one's for Ashley."

Next week Gato visits with the ultimate fashion band, Fischerspooner, reviews laptop DJ software, and answers questions from readers.