Here’s to everyone who thought “Wicker Park” was going to be a creepy suspense film. It’s OK, you’re not alone. This is a straight-up chick flick that tries to be so much more but just ends up with a plot full of more holes than ODB’s grill and enough loose ends to make a David Lynch movie, albeit a bad one.
A remake of the French film “L’ Apparement,” “Wicker Park” tells the story of Matthew, a successful photographer on the verge of marriage, who may have just seen Lisa (his long-lost love played by Diane Kruger, “Troy”) in a restaurant phone booth. Here’s where the movie starts getting confusing and most guys start to realize that a thriller is not in store (and start to feel self-concious about having suggested this movie to their friends). From this point, we follow Matthew around town as he searches for this Lisa character.
Through a series of flashbacks and long shots of Josh Hartnett (“Black Hawk Down”) brooding like there’s no tomorrow, we learn that Lisa was a dancer with whom Matthew fell in love with at first sight…as he watched her on a digital camera in the store where he worked. Not creepy enough. They meet, and she falls in love with him after he stalks her around the city for an undisclosed time. This is probably not a good way to get girls to notice you, but it works for our hero, and they get it together with what looks like a bright future in store. Then Matthew asks Lisa to move in with him. She abruptly tells him that she is late for practice, but to meet her in the park tomorrow at 3. She never shows up.
After this, the movie turns to Matthew searching throughout the city trying to find Lisa. He does, except…it’s not Lisa. At least, it’s not his Lisa. It’s a different one…or is it? After new Lisa (Rose Byrne, “Troy”) almost brains Matthew with a bronze statue, she invites him to stay the night. You see, she’s being followed by this guy and she’s scared. Don’t worry about this part. It doesn’t go anywhere. Of course Matthew agrees, but, like a hero, he agrees to sleep on the couch. Unlike a hero, this only lasts for a couple hours. Apparently he misses old Lisa so much that he decides it would be all right to knock boots with new Lisa. Never mind that they are not alike in any way, shape or form. After this, some more shady stuff goes down, a secret is revealed, and Josh Hartnett tries his best to appear even more moody.
After the bad acting and lackluster screenplay, the camera work is a big problem. First of all, the groovy 360-degree spin, freeze, zoom shot needed to be stopped after about the third time. Secondly, the whole simultaneous viewing angles quickly became obnoxious. This is Josh Hartnett climbing the stairs from the front. This is Josh Hartnett climbing the stairs from the back. This is Josh Hartnett looking around the corner. This is what’s behind the corner. This is my head exploding. There’s some more funny camera business here and there, but nothing as annoying as those mentioned above.
The worst part, though, is the lack of closure at the end. There is an ending, but the only character we actually feel sorry for in the movie is left hanging. We don’t even get a “two months later…” or anything. Dang yo, that’s harsh. Not even Matthew Lillard (“Scooby Doo”) as the whacky best friend, Luke, lightens this load. His funnies are few and far between and are only funny because the rest of the movie is so bad. To top it off, you don’t even get to see Josh Hartnett with his shirt off. Geez.
Grade: D