Unless you are without a pulse, you have more than likely been tempted by a hook-up. The initial stages ? before they potentially lead to the bedroom ? can happen anywhere, from the library, dorm room, SERF, coffee shop, or laundromat.

Exotic locales are interesting, but they are by no means the dominant spots on campus. The hook-up crown belongs to bars, where the presence of alcohol compounds hormonal excitement and lowers inhibition.

Campus bars are a fertile hunting ground for finding that elusive mate ? whether it be for a night, or a few months. The problem is such motivation usually comes with a sense of urgency. If you could only pick one, you might as well go with the best place to find a piece of ass, the Kollege Klub.

For over 50 years, students have checked some sensibility at the door and ventured into what can simply be described as an escape from reality. It is hard to explain, but I think I have an idea: reality doesn’t jam out to “Pour Some Sugar On Me,” reality doesn’t wear mini-skirts in the middle of winter and reality doesn’t make out by the pool tables.

These things do happen frequently at the KK, and it hardly creates a stir. This atmosphere is the KK’s reality. It does feel at times that everyone at the bar is looking to get laid. A certain degree of naughtiness is accepted, and if you don’t like it, stay home or go to another bar, because somebody is more than willing to take your place.

More than likely, the usual suspects will take that spot. Sorority girls, fraternity guys, athletes, jersey chasers, and everything in between find their way to the KK. Recently, Randy from the “Real World” made an appearance, and was swarmed by a throng of screaming female fans. He is lucky to make it out alive.

The weekend is definitely prime time in a quest for some action. The rest of the week should not be forgotten. Although I doubt it was planned, one of the KK’s biggest nights is coincidentally Hump Day.

The Wednesday special is a bottle beer and a shot, which many refer to as “Christmas at the KK.” Although simple, it is extremely popular. The domestic lineup is $3, and the imported selection is $3.50. With each beer, you can choose a shot of Dr., Butterball, Kamikaze or Jolly Rancher. What a way to ease on into the weekend!

While you enjoy the potent combination, your body will shake (or tremble) to the beats of DJ Kid. Although his song selection is nearly identical to the jukebox, and the fact that a smooth transition to the next tune will almost never be heard, the crowd is ready to groove. For some reason, people never get tired of Britney Spears, Chingy, or anything else broadcasting a not-so-subtle message.

It is sexually charged fun, something that Playboy verified by ranking the KK the third best college bar in the country. Fun such as this needs more variety than just a beer and a shot to get you going. Fortunately, the KK has the basics down.

Drinks like vodka-lemonade, Captain and Coke and Long Island Ice Tea are very popular. Miller High Life is always flowing on tap at a $1.50. These are college tastes ? simple, not too pricey, and ripe with possibility.

Keeping the controlled chaos from getting out of hand is a good staff, and the watchful eye of owner Bruce Meier. You can typically find him at the bar, enjoying the party with a devilish smirk on his face.

It is hard to avoid the tractor-beam of the Kollege Klub. Like anything else, it might not be for everybody. Yet those who find themselves here again and again are having a great time, or maybe just a little horny.

Bartime will venture outside the extremes in its quest for Madison’s best bar. Look for it next week. Cheers!

Meet Your Bartender

Bartime’s weekly Q & A at the featured bar

Name: Jessie Scott

How long working at the KK: Three years

Major and year in school: Pharmacology and toxicology, graduating in May

Best thing about the KK: “The stories ? too many with, “Well, I stumbled into the KK and…” or “We met at the KK and…”, they are legendary!”

Worst pick-up line: “You look like Sandra Bullock,” and “Did I tell you that you have nice…elbows?”

Most popular song of the moment: ” ‘Usher and Lil Jon- Yeah’, we’ll hear it about three times a night, and the Dave Chappelle Show imitation is inevitable.”

What’s up with DJ Kid? “He plays the high school songs and hits people like to dance to ? deal with it!”

Can you find happiness at the KK? “Yes, but only in the arms of a very nice bartender.”

Favorite drink: “I would drink a Bloody Mary all the time, if it was the socially acceptable thing to do at 11 p.m.”

Proudest moment: “Taking second place at the annual Bloody Mary contest held at the Angelic every summer ? I’m going to get it this year!”