I’m really not down with getting wasted in the sun during my spring break respite. My Irish skin just can’t handle the rays and my liver, oh, it’s been bruised a bit this past semester. So I’m heading to my beloved future home — New York — to beg for a job, spruce up my late ’01 wardrobe, chill on the L.I. with my half-sisters and best of all, catch some shows — on the label’s dime, of course. Here is a brief summary of my plans. And no, they don’t include H&M, ground zero or ESPNZone. I’ll leave those for the fanny pack set.

Friday: Allman Brothers Band @ The Beacon Theater

Oh man, the intriguing dichotomy of the Allmans rocking in the City is kind of like Ja Rule bringing down Omaha. I’ll take the prior. The Allman Brothers have been performing two-week runs in New York for years (since ’96, the group has sold out two weeks of spring shows at the Upper West Side venue). This is southern-fried rock at its best.

Saturday: The Moldy Peaches @ Maxwell’s

This is the last show on the Peaches’ four-month tour — a swing that brought the duo to the Rath for one of the year’s best performances. So what have Kimya and Adam got in store for this sure-to-be-brilliant/ridiculous carnival of a show? How about six individual sets from each of the touring band members, with special guest Chris Barron (the bearded dude from the Spin Doctors) sandwiched in between. Oh man, Jersey gets cerebral this day.

Sunday: Jazz ’til dawn @ Smalls

This is one of the hottest date spots in the City. For 10 bucks you get 10 hours of jazz that rambles on ’til about 6a.m., a no-questions-asked BYOB policy and some really cushsiony sofas — it can get a bit nasty if you don’t watch out. Sunday night in the Village is quiet, so head to 10th & 7 for the incredible Sacha Perry Trio. This guy can bang the keys for 30 minutes straight, only pausing to ash his trademark Swisher. So go buy a case of Blue Moon, roll a few cigarettes and stay up all night to a perfect urban soundscape.

Wednesday: Chocolate Genius w/ Robert Bradley’s Blackwater Surprise @ Bowery Ballroom

Now, if I wanted to be really sad in the City, I would go to a Knicks game, ‘cuz those guys are sad this year. Chocolate Genius is the poster child of sadcore, a melancholy laced soul/rock off-shoot that moves a tenth of the pace of Maxwel but still achieves crooning perfection. Chocolate covered Tom Waits, if you will.

Thursday: Plaid @ Warsaw

Greenpoint is a hike, so for most malnourished hipsters, Warsaw shows mean business. I’ve never seen Plaid, and know the group only through its recent Double Figure release. This is intelligent electronic music for those smarting up in this post-rave era.

So there are my plans. But as you’ve noticed, there are some holes. Drop me a line if you know of something hot or just want to tag along. Bon voyage.

You can reach me at [email protected]