As many of you readers will soon find out, I am perpetually late to everything — usually not criminally so, but I am that guy who shows up as the bell rings. So, by virtue of Murphy’s Law, the days when important things are going on are when I end up being really late. “Wow! Your personal habits and ways are so interesting!” Yes, I know, but I will save my personal clustercuss of a life for another time.
On this particular day, I was running late. Not just your average five minutes; it was going to be the big one-five. So naturally I was unkempt, racing through campus on my bike. My class was in Bascom Hall, so I elected to bike up Charter Street. What I had forgotten was the beast that was waiting for me at the top of that hill. Yes, if you call yourself a student at this wonderful university, you know of what I speak: The Observatory Drive and Charter Street intersection.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqnOqtyP5qw
From the hours of 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., 15 minutes on either side of the hour, this innocent four-way stop becomes a snarling mass of angry commuters. The most remarkable thing about this divine traffic jam is the fact that no matter what kind of vehicle you drive/pedal/walk, it is equally as awful and frustrating. I bike around campus, and I am that one biker you hate: aggressive, stand-offish and acting like a pedestrian. So naturally I despise anyone who would tell me that I am a bad biker, which I am. On most days, I have no remorse for those who walk, drive or bus. Anyone at that intersection, though, I feel pain for.
If you decide to tackle it walking, you will be part of the mindless herd that constantly is flowing across, gently guided by the shrill horns of automobiles and the harsh cries of those on bikes. If you decide to give it a go on a bike, bless your soul. You will have to slow down from a near warp speed acceleration coming off of Observatory Drive, or, you will need to hit the brakes after the agonizingly long and difficult climb up Charter. So, you chose to do it in a car? Prepare to wait 10 minutes in utter shock at how this many students could be continually blocking your path for this long. You will eventually resort to gently nudging the nose of your vehicle into the crowd, inspiring cries of indigence from the general populous of the crossing itself. Checkmate.
As I sat there panting, watching a city bus try repeatedly to begin crossing only to be cut off again, my mind wandered to my freshman year, when even the engineering department recognized this awful intersection. I can remember we had an engineer who showed us a time lapse from the top of Van Hise Hall of the Charter/Observatory intersection. I don’t think I have ever wanted to dub “yackety sax” over anything more in my life. It was comical, watching the struggles of a day unfold before our very eyes, faster than life. The video ended, and the speaker in question chuckled and told us that it was “one messy intersection.”
So I guess what I am getting at is that yes, Bascom Hill will look awesome with the new steps in, and yes, the cobblestones did need re-doing outside of the Chazen and I am sure Library Mall is going to look fantastic when it is done. It just puzzles me that there is a lot of aesthetic construction going on when we have monstrosities like the Charter Street and Observatory Drive intersection.
Elias Radtke (eradtke
