We’ve had a few weeks
to process the insane drama surrounding Lily Bass that culminated before winter
break. When we left, we learned that Lily was planning to sell Bass Industries
without informing Chuck and Ben being in jail for having an affair with Serena
(a minor at the time) was completely her fault. So essentially, at the start of
episode 12 in this season, the Bass / Van Der Woodsen family is one big mess.

Upon the return of
our favorite Upper East Siders, there is some shady business going on between
Blair and Dan. We know that they watched a movie together over winter break,
but they are acting pretty strange about it. Nate’s dad is temporarily out of
jail, which is nice for Nate, but not when his dad is having more fun playing
Wii Tennis and going out to the bars to meet women every night. And Chuck tries
to save Bass Industries by getting help from an old Bass family friend whose
party Chuck is planning to attend.

Chuck finds out that
asking for help to save the company won’t do much good, since the company is
already set up to be bought within the next 24 hours. But still, he and Serena
set up a major scheme to be executed later that night at the party hosted by
the old Bass family friend, a man named Russell Thorpe. Chuck hears from Lily
that the reason why she wanted to sell Bass was because it dealt with hotels
and real estate– two areas which aren’t exactly in financial success. Lily
said she was trying to save Bass rather than harm it.

At this party, Chuck
thanks Thorpe for purchasing the company, only to find out that Thorpe didn’t
actually plan on buying it because Chuck’s father screwed him over back in the
day. Oh, and Lily slept with him. But then, as happens in every episode, the
plot twists (if it is even dramatic enough to call it that) and Thorpe decides
to buy Bass after all with the intention of getting back at the family.
Moreover, Thorpe plans to hire Nate’s father to handle the shady financial
business.

At the end of the
episode, it seems that one bad decision is made after another. Dan and Blair
see another movie together; Serena finds that Ben has been released from jail
and the two go out for coffee; Chuck makes the wisest networking move ever by
sleeping with Thorpe’s daughter.

Seriously, guys, this
is getting way too unrealistic. Perhaps a peek into Blair’s internship next
week will show that these characters can actually be normal college kids?
…I’m not betting on it.