Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Maybe, but definitely not in one short year.
Less than ten months after the release of her smash hit album “Short n’ Sweet,” salacious blonde songstress Sabrina Carpenter announced that her next project, “Man’s Best Friend,” would hit streaming platforms at the end of August. Propelled into the pop culture sphere by a solid lead single and a controversial album cover, the album would face the unique challenge of meeting the high expectations set by “Short n’ Sweet” while still managing to distinguish itself from its predecessor.
So, does it distinguish itself? Not exactly, but that’s not a bad thing — rather, it’s proof that Carpenter has found her formula (which undeniably works) and is sticking to it. Like “Short n’ Sweet,” “Man’s Best Friend” has a robust roster of flawless pop songs, with a few forgettable ones tucked in between. Yes, some tracks bark more than they bite. But when they do bite, they sink their teeth in deep and don’t let go.
The album’s only single, “Manchild,” is an in-betweener. It’s less sonically tight than the polished and infectious “Espresso” that kicked off Carpenter’s “Short n’ Sweet” era, oversaturated with country-inspired production quirks that almost seem parodic. But the track still aims to please with clever lyrics that express frustration with an immature man (“Why so sexy if so dumb? / And how survive the earth so long?”) and a sing-along able bridge.
Track 2, “Tears,” is one of the rare songs on “Man’s Best Friend” that sees Carpenter trying something sonically new, and for that reason, it’s one of the best. It opens like a Broadway musical overture, soft and mysterious, before melting away into an intoxicating retro-funk beat. The smutty lyrics are sure to raise eyebrows. According to Carpenter, assembling a chair from IKEA is orgasm-worthy — but in true Sabrina Carpenter fashion, satirical. Violins weave over and under Carpenter’s exaggerated sighs and moans, building to a shamelessly giddy dance break.
Following a song as infectious as “Tears” is no easy feat, and the half-baked “My Man on Willpower,” while catchy, isn’t quite up to the challenge. As on “Manchild,” Carpenter puts on her manufactured country twang that’s more distracting than it is endearing. It’s a cute and jaunty number, in spite of its puzzling inclusion of jingle bells, but — like all of Carpenter’s mid-tempo attempts to fuse pop and country — it somewhat falls flat.
After two fun but mildly forgettable tracks, “Sugar Talking” and “We Almost Broke Up Again Last Night” — the latter of which opens with a breathy Gracie Abrams impression — Carpenter rights her course with “Nobody’s Son.” As only she could, the songstress laments men’s shortcomings over an instrumental that bobs up and down like a carousel ride (or perhaps like Carpenter’s love life).
The subsequent “Never Getting Laid,” on which Carpenter wishes her ex “a lifetime full of happiness and a forever of never getting laid,” is a twinkling, lower-tempo number that holds its own halfway through the album. Its dreamy instrumental and Carpenter’s saccharine vocals mask the genuinely concerning possessiveness that comes through in the lyrics — girl, move on!
“When Did You Get Hot?” jolts listeners awake with a seductive boom-bwap beat and Carpenter’s musings about a childhood acquaintance having an unexpected glow-up: “You were an ugly kid / But you’re a sexy man,” she purrs. It’s like if a little black dress was a song, complete with a show-stopping riff, thirsty lyrics and lots of sultry oohing and ahhing.
On “Go Go Juice,” Carpenter dons her plasticky country accent once more as she playfully describes getting drunk just to call an ex. The sentiment might come off as desperate, but bolstered by Carpenter’s cheekily aloof delivery, it’s charming. Fittingly, the track stumbles a bit before finding its footing with a delightfully creative bridge that’s made to sound like a gaggle of drunken pub patrons singing in unison.
But, Carpenter tucks her tail back between her legs on the next track, “Don’t Worry, I’ll Make You Worry,” a sleepy addition to the track list that’s got Jack Antonoff’s dirty fingerprints all over it. (Sabrina, stay in your lane. Less ballads, more bangers!)
For reasons unexplainable, the best song on “Man’s Best Friend” is buried at the bottom of the track list. With “House Tour,” Carpenter delivers a stunning pop tour de force that rattles, sizzles and shimmers for the entirety of its tragically short two minute, 48 second runtime.
On the foot-stomping, 80’s-inspired track, Carpenter invites a suitor to explore a particular piece of real estate. (Hint: it’s not actually a house.) Her tone switches from earnest to sly as she sings “And I promise none of this is a metaphor / I just want you to come inside.”
Carpenter’s vocals almost sound synthetic, but in a good way — she’s a pin-up, a starlet, a Barbie doll. “House Tour” winks, smiles and shimmies, cementing itself as one of Carpenter’s best. It would have been a better album closer than the subsequent track, “Goodbye,” a middling ABBA-esque song infused with some good-old-fashioned Carpenter humor to keep it afloat.
So, what’s the album’s thesis? Could it be, “Men are disappointing?” Well, yes. There’s no puppy love on “Man’s Best Friend,” just general exasperation with the opposite sex. On one track, Carpenter sulks about not getting the attention she deserves — on the next, she rolls her eyes at a doting suitor. Perhaps she’s being a little harsh, but I’d argue that what the world needs right now is a little good old-fashioned misandry.
There might not have been much artistic development or personal growth between “Man’s Best Friend” and its predecessor, but hey, that’s okay. Carpenter knows what works. She’s still a woman in dogged pursuit of that perfect pop song, and here, she’s found quite a few. So, if there’s one takeaway from “Man’s Best Friend,” it’s that men are dogs, and women (still) run pop.
