A year ago, amid protests from Madison community members that the town was experiencing an outbreak of crime, Mayor Dave Cieslewicz handed the police department the keys to 30 shiny, new officers. And because of this bold step, a new police staffing study claims the Madison Police Department can finally address quality of life complaints. But one has to wonder if it makes sense to employ 30 cops to get cats out of trees and ticket drunk students. Among the complains put forth by the city were a lack of police attention to “loitering, loud parties, unattended children, gangs, public drunkenness and drug dealing,” according to a Wisconsin State Journal article. If I didn’t know better, I’d say there was some sort of college campus near Madison. Although gangs are more fit for Puerto Rican musicals. In a town where the police force has a hard time solving the few murders it sees every year, loitering and loud parties should be the least of it’s issues. It’s a misconception that the police force is out to get the students. Busting up a party only creates an unnecessary amount of paperwork for an officer and has a tendency to tick off a few Neanderthal-type fraternity members. That’s not to say officers turn their head the other way when it comes to campus crime, but they have a realistic understanding of how a college operates. But with the new officers working in concentrated areas from 3 AM to 8 AM, as the staffing report indicates, they are predisposed to spend more time dealing with minor crime instead of the front-page variety. It’s not to say that increased law enforcement is a bad idea, but the city of Madison isn’t getting enough bang for it’s buck. If we’re going to beef up the men in blue, let’s expect results beyond taking care of the “public drunkenness problem.” Because as I stumble home some Saturday night, I want to think someone is out there protecting me from getting assaulted, not testing my backwards alphabet.