A tavern in the place most call Minnesota – but Wisconsinites call “that weird looking state over there” – decided to sell a Wisconsin crown jewel to undeserving customers … and broke the law in the process. This crown jewel, of course, is Spotted Cow, a New Glarus beer which can only be legally sold in Wisconsin. Hence, the conniving Minnesotan tavern owners decided to essentially smuggle the beer back from Hudson, Wisconsin.
We Wisconsinites understand the pleasure that is Spotted Cow so we understand your jealousy, Minnesota. But do you see us trying to smuggle in … wait, there really isn’t anything worth smuggling from Minnesota. So, we actually do not understand your jealousy. The Packers own the Vikings, the Badgers own Paul Bunyan’s axe and Wisconsin owns Spotted Cow.
To protect our Spotted Cow, Wisconsin should take the money from the $300 million cut to the UW System and use it to construct a Great Wall of Wisconsin to protect our beer.
We realize the only claim to fame for any Minnesotan is having “10,000 lakes” (we have 15,074) but to stoop to the level of smuggling … I thought Gophers were better than that. Jealous, Gopher-loving, Vikings fans are not the kind of people deserving of liquid gold.
Luke Schaetzel ([email protected]) is a freshman intending to major in journalism and political science.
