Bromance. Until about two months ago, the concept didn’t exist. Now just about everywhere you look, there’s some story about guys getting all touchy-feely with each other and going on man-dates.
I get it. Bromance is a cultural phenomenon, sparked by a good movie (regardless of whatever the review in this newspaper said. Two stars? C’mon!) and some MTV chumps.
But for the arts scene to try and brand “Bromance” as its own creation is ridiculous. At their core, man-dates are a sports thing.
Having been on man-dates myself, I can say there are advantages to them. Not only are they easier to get than regular dates, but if you drop the line, “Hey, check out that chick’s jugs,” you’ll get a nod of approval instead of slap across the face. That is, assuming she doesn’t hear you. In that case, you might get both.
But for the inexperienced, man-dating can be confusing. To make things easier, here’s a few tried-and-true sports man-dates to get your bromance going.
Round of golf
Some things are just meant to be together. Pepperoni and cheese. Green and gold. Men and golf.
A golf course is like a man sanctuary in a lot of respects, a place where guys can be guys. Drink, fart, curse. Show off shades of athleticism that started to disappear about the time senior prom ended. And don’t forget about drinking.
Golf works for a man-date in a lot of ways. The game itself creates a topic of conversation right off the bat, as does the drink cart girl. At the same time, it’s not like you’re trapped in a five-hour conversation. Playing partner turns out to be a dud? Play down the left side of the hole, cursing as you “hook” shot into the rough.
All that alone time will give you a chance to decide whether you have a chance with the drink cart girl. (You don’t.)
At the end of the round, hit the bar for a drink or two and talk about the great putt on 15 that you birdied.
Baseball game
Tailgating and catching a game in the bleachers — I will always hold that there is nothing better to do with another man than this.
Trip to the casino
Now, I realize gambling isn’t a sport, per se. It generally involves no athleticism, and no matter how many times ESPN shows poker reruns from four years ago, that won’t change.
But if you’re the kind of guy who’d go on a man-date to the baseball game, gambling is a slam dunk recreational option as well.
As always, Vegas is the ideal option here, what with its plethora of gambling options, attractive cocktail waitresses and free drinks. But as great as Vegas is, that’s not always an option.
Luckily, just about any casino will do.
Gambling is tremendous for a man-date for a variety of reasons, the fact you can stand to improve your financial situation being near the top. But more than that, the camaraderie born from ruthless ball-busting after a particularly poor play at the blackjack table or after a cocktail waitress shoots down a feeble pickup attempt is priceless.
Mind you, this is more of a group man-date. But just like when you were 15 years old, that takes some of the pressure off when you’re breaking in with a new group of friends.
Just make sure your mom doesn’t forget to pick you up when you’re done.
“But c’mon, Ben,” you might be saying. “All those require me to get up and actually go do something. That sounds like an awful lot of work.”
Good thing for you, there’s what I call the University of Phoenix man-date option (it’s just like a real man-date, except you don’t even have to leave your couch!).
It’s a four-step process:
1. Call the guys.
2. Order pizza.
3. Crack a case of beer.
4. Watch college basketball.
Unlike your bracket, it’s a sure thing. And after all, isn’t that what you’re looking for in a man-date?
Ben is a senior majoring in political science and journalism. He’s single and ready to man-date mingle. Contact him at [email protected].
