A wise man once said, "Brothers don't shake hands … brothers gotta hug." For those of you who don't know what I'm referring to, that was Chris Farley upon meeting his new brother in "Tommy Boy." Over the years, I have competed head-to-head against my older brother in almost every sport known to man and we do not shake hands and we definitely do not hug.

My older brother Eric and I can't finish a round of golf before it becomes as competitive as the final round at Augusta National. I recall a tennis match on a family vacation when I lost in a tiebreaker and proceeded to chuck my racket over the net in his direction. Needless to say, we did not hug it out.

I guess that's just boys being boys, but if playing sports against my brother has taught me anything, it's that it's all psychological. Brothers will talk trash, play mind games and throw the occasional cheap shot all in the name of family supremacy. The competition is fierce and emotions run high.

For nearly my whole life, I couldn't beat my brother in thumb wrestling, let alone a real sport. Whether it was Fisher Price basketball, tennis or a foot race, Eric always had the edge. But as I got a little older and a little wiser, I learned what it takes to beat my big brother.

With the Manning vs. Manning showdown just around the corner, I think Eli had better listen up. Eli's Giants will be taking on Peyton's Colts in week one of the NFL season, and it will no doubt be a melee of Mannings that is far more intense than the two brothers have let football fans believe.

All summer we've heard Eli say how it's just another game and how he needs to focus on Dwight Freeney and the Colts defense — not his big bro — and in Indy, Peyton has echoed similar feelings in order to avoid the hype.

But the hype is there, and it is very real. Deep down, Peyton is thinking, "I am the best quarterback in the game and there is no way my kid brother is going to beat me." Somewhere, Eli is hoping he can avenge all of his past losses to Peyton while growing up in Louisiana.

As we get closer to game day, I can't help but pull for Eli and the Giants. I am a die-hard Giants fan, and I, too, always lose to my big brother.

Never fear Eli, because I am here to help.

Whatever you do, don't talk a word of trash. Don't add any fuel to the fire, because Peyton will already be looking for blood. No late-night phone calls before the game talking about how many times he will get sacked by Michael Strahan and Osi Umenyiora. Again, Peyton is going to be jacked up for this game and you definitely don't want to give him any bulletin board material.

When game day comes around, stay clear of Peyton. Don't partake in any neutral-area meetings in the tunnel before the game. Chances are Peyton wants to see how you're feeling and to get a read on your confidence level. Peyton knows he is the best in the game, and he knows you are still trying to emerge from underneath his shadow. It's fair to say little Eli is going to be a little nervous — and you do not want the older brother to know that.

Also Eli, never smile. Whether it is true or not, make Peyton believe you are all business. There is nothing Peyton would rather do than to throw four touchdowns and pass for 300 yards en route to a Giant debacle. I'm pretty sure that would knock that smile right off your face. A stern mug could also put a little fear into Peyton, which can only help your chances.

On the field, always play like it's a tie score. A couple years back, I got ahead of my brother on the golf course, and I began to think that I was finally going to beat him — I proceeded to do my best impression of Greg Norman — and three double bogies later, it was all over. Eli, you might get a lead at some point, but odds are its not going to last, so don't think about the game being over until it actually is.

Most importantly, Eli, make no eye contact. I repeat, no eye contact. That's all the older brother needs — a window into your soul letting him know that you are oh-so-close to soiling yourself. Older brothers can read their younger counterparts like books, and once they're in your head, you're never getting them out. So don't look at him once — not a stare, gawk or gaze until the game is over.

If you take all my advice to heart, Eli, you might actually win the game and score one for younger brothers around the world, and if you do emerge victorious, be sure to find Peyton after the game — smile, talk some trash and look him in the eye all at the same time, because it probably won't happen ever again.

But if you lose — and if history has taught me anything, it's that you probably will — find your big brother and hug it out because you will probably need one. I know I always did.

Andrew is a junior majoring in journalism. For more information on how to beat your older brother e-mail me at [email protected]