The Madison Fire Department is fed up with all of the careless cooking that’s going on in this town. Residents have become more and more lackadaisical in the kitchen in the past few years, and department officials don’t care if cooks are scatterbrained with academic stress, tired from excessive protesting or passing out inebriated on a couch with a late night pizza in the oven. They are sick of putting out fires caused by irresponsible chefs. Last week, the department requested a city ordinance that fines Madison residents who start preventable fires up to $5,000: an entirely reasonable price to pay, considering the considerably higher cost of fire damage.

As Madison firefighters put themselves in harm’s way to extinguish negligent fires, they have every right to speak out about them. I can only imagine the feeling of stepping into a burning building to fight a fire only to later discover that the blaze started when a few stoned would-be Emeril Lagasses were entranced by the History Channel and left a pizza in the oven till it charred and burst into flames.

These men and women leap into action at a moment’s notice, tearing across the city with lights and sirens to extinguish raging fires, save lives and make Madison a safe place to live. City residents can keep an eye on the pizza and set a timer for the cookies as a gesture of respect for the dangerous work they do. This simple step would allow the fire department to focus their time and resources on putting out fires caused by short circuits and leaky fuel lines, not kitchen stupidity.

In the past year, property damages due to kitchen fires totaled a whopping $2 million, and in 120 fires, seven occupants were injured. In the past few years, kitchen catastrophes have surpassed careless smoking as the most common cause of household fires in the city of Madison. A Madison press release last Friday began with, “Unattended food on a stove causes $3,000 in damage,” and went on to describe how, “A pot of oil and food, left on an electric stove, caused smoke damage…”
It comes as a twist of irony that in October, which is the fire department’s official Fire Prevention Month, the city reports that, “City firefighters responded to 31 cooking fires, enough for one every day of the month.”

For the Madisonians who frequent Library Mall food carts, the proliferation of cooking fires hit close to home when the Caracas Empanadas cart burst into flames on Labor Day weekend. Bystanders watched as firefighters cut through the sheet metal exterior to extinguish a fire that caused $10,000 in damages. The cart recently reopened, and from what I hear it is delicious.

The damages mentioned reflect cost to owners and residents alone. Negligent fires are costly for neighbors as well, especially in apartment complexes. And in general, fires are a public safety hazard. A city ordinance that punishes those who recklessly endanger their neighbors with a reasonable fine will raise awareness, hold residents accountable and reduce future cooking fire incidents.

Even if a drunk driver doesn’t crash into oncoming traffic, there are legal consequences, because drunk driving is reckless behavior that endangers public safety. To a lesser degree, the same can be said about residents who start careless and preventable cooking fires, and the proposal to fine these residents is entirely logical. The fines are reasonable: Compared to the costs of property damage and injury to residents these fires inflict, $5,000 dollars is not outrageous. The fine can be seen as representative of the collateral damage negligent fires cause.

The fire department works hard on education and prevention, and it plans to put an emphasis on kitchen safety in the future. While fines may be necessary today to curb the proliferation of incendiary cooking, education programs are the long-term solution. Teaching kids how to prevent fires and how to stay safe if a fire breaks out is a necessary public health measure. The department lists a few safe cooking reminders for residents: “Be on alert! If you are sleepy or have consumed alcohol don’t use the stove or stovetop. … If you leave the kitchen for even a short period of time, turn off the stove,” and of course, if a fire does break out, “Just get out!” and call 911. Your health is the most important thing.

Charles Godfrey ([email protected]) is a sophomore majoring in math and physics.