Kyle: GTL aside, ad regulation necessary to prevent an unwanted Situation

Let’s be honest, there would be more social value in a 30 second TV spot endorsing the Situation’s protein-infused vodka than most political ads dirtying the airwaves these days.

At least his intentions are pure. Well, at least as pure as the primitive inklings of a testosterone-addled gorilla riding the short bus can be. While a grenade-free America might make for a nice campaign platform, I don’t think we have to worry about the Situation running for public office anytime soon.

Then again, maybe he would actually be able to mobilize the again-stagnant youth with a couple fist pumps and a shirtless TV ad campaign. The sad thing is, I’m sure a potent and morally obscure enough primetime ad spot could probably drum up enough votes to get the Guido King elected to some office or other. Minnesota did elect a professional wrestler after all.

I like to think the world has come a long way since World War II and the Nazi regime, when the sinisterly effective propaganda mastermind Joseph Goebbels managed to manipulate the woefully ignorant German masses into supporting the systematic elimination of an entire race of people. But, every time I turn on the boob tube and see a campaign ad, I’m reminded we’re really only one Machiavellian propagandist away.

In an era where a political ad can be as misleading and morally bankrupt as the technical definition of “facially true” will allow, America will never be safe from the potential election of America’s favorite spray-tanned muscle head.

Jake: Inaccuracy, schminaccuracy, so long as someone foots the bill, ads OK

If election season teaches us anything about democracy, it’s that, besides that whole representative government thing, someone out there cares enough to spend a little money on you. Be they radio, television or, I don’t know, skywriting, political advertisements and the people funding them continue to try to push their own brand of snake oil our way, looking for nothing more than a measly couple of votes.

And sure, there’s the issue of accuracy in advertisements, things taken out of context or simply being flat-out lied to, but I say more power to ’em. Terrible graphics, terrible voiceovers, terrible candidates, it’s very flattering of them to think we honestly give a damn about their investments in air time. I’m all for ethics in advertisement, but if these bastards are willing to keep turning out soundbites and video clips cobbled together between $500 a plate breakfast fundraisers, I say let them go crazy.

Someone has to do the half-assed job of producing these things – boom, job creation. And someone else has to foot the bill, there you go, stimulating the economy. The central beauty to the whole thing is that all you’re expected to do is press a single button on the remote. Or vote for them, it’s really up to you.

So let these people spend themselves into the ground. Let them bother you incessantly. Let pundits hang on every single word and claim. But whatever you do, don’t take them seriously. I’m Jake Begun, and I approve this message.