For many of the Badger faithful, Saturday represented an ending. The football team is done until December, and needless to say, it wasn’t a great year to be a Badger. But for other proud Wisconsinites, Saturday marked a beginning, and they’ll be looking to ensure far worse for a different woodland creature. Annie, get your gun, your orange overalls and a 30-pack of High Life. It’s deer hunting season.
Specifically, Saturday began gun hunting season, or “Easy Mode.” Bow hunting season just ended, and as Ted Nugent emerges from the wilderness, war paint on his forehead and raw meat hanging out of his mouth, sportsmen young and old take to the woods to enjoy the weekend or, if nothing else, release pent-up aggression on Mother Nature.
While I’ve never been a hunter, I can see the appeal. Winter in Wisconsin borders on torture, and though sitting in a tree stand isn’t exactly Six Flags, at least you’re getting some fresh air. Also, bagging a trophy buck not only provides food but also interesting wall hangings. But as one of the countless children who made the mistake of asking what happened to Bambi’s mom halfway though the movie, I’m uneasy about man’s need to prove himself smarter than an animal.
Undoubtedly, Wisconsin is overpopulated with deer. It’s impossible not to see at least a few “sleeping” on the side of the road when taking I-94 across the state. And in this country, when an animal’s presence grows out of control, we kill some off. We have pesticides for insects, exterminators for rats and mice, and Uncle Steve for deer. But deer hunting today goes beyond Teddy Roosevelt’s days of a man, a deer and a big stick to bludgeon it with. Instead, hunting regulations, necessary or not, can delegitimize the hunt.
Almost the entire state is under some form of hunting regulation this year. These regulations vary, but at least one applies to more than one-third of the Dairyland, stating that before hunters can kill a buck, they must first shoot a doe. There are certainly population control reasons behind this, but from an ethical standpoint, it’s difficult to understand such a mandate.
Hunters don’t typically go out to kill female deer. Nobody mounts them — except for that one guy in Superior — and forced regulation feels more like a nuisance than an incentive. I’d hate to be the marksman who spots the King of The Forest, only to realize he didn’t put a bullet in Mrs. Deer first. It’s like the prize you thought existed at the bottom of the cereal box, only to find out you need five UPC codes first. You want the glow-in-the-dark spoon, but you don’t want to eat another four boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch just to do it. You’ll develop diabetes.
The promotion of added killings just seems immoral. If a hunter wants to aid both the DNR and the development of his daughter’s wedding dress by shooting a doe, he should take aim and fire. But to require unnecessary violence is sadistic, and makes me wonder that if there is a deer heaven, I bet they’re pretty ticked off.
Deer hunting is the closest man will ever come to an enjoyable war. You bring your buddies, shoot as infrequently as you’d like, and never have to worry about a counter-offensive. Without hunting, no one would get to try your homemade venison, and you’d have a hard time justifying that new truck if you couldn’t haul animal carcasses around in the back. But killing in the name of good times and new recipe ideas devalues both the sport of hunting and the lives of deer.
The DNR estimates this year’s deer population at 1.7 million, 100,000 less than 2007. If the population keeps dropping, and hunters keep getting asked to kill before they kill, it could potentially damage the deer hunt for years to come. Darwin never mentioned the effect of the Winchester on the finch population. Maybe we should leave the deer alone too.
Oh well, if it all goes south, there’re still 15 Bucks in Milwaukee that need to be put out of their misery.
Sean Kittridge ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in journalism.
