I am just going to go out and say it: entertainment news is the symbol of the decline of Western civilization. Every single facet of it, from the hyper-reactionary tone of reporters when announcing a "breaking" story, to the egregious overuse of clichés and alliteration when writing articles annoys me.

And what I consider even more perplexing is not that people aren't throwing copies of Us Weekly onto a raging bonfire in the center of Library Mall, but that celebrity gossip just seems to be getting more and more popular.

The advent of celebrity gossip is understandable. The appeal of the wealthy and the desire to know about how they live their lives is certainly nothing new and has even evolved over time. The Lost Generation focused on the prep school days of Holden Caulfield and the secluded life of Jay Gatsby. Next came the dream life of Camelot and the Kennedy clan. In the 1980s, it was the smarmy narrations of Robin Leach on "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous." Yet, the current incarnation of this desire has devolved into a freakish idol worship where even the most insipid details of Kelly Ripa's life are called front page news.

The blame for this pandemic of Tom Cruise sized proportions rests on the shoulders of the paparazzi and the media outlets who distribute it. The publications and television shows that are focused on celebrity news all seem to have an inflated sense of self-importance, as if knowing the minutiae of a movie star's life somehow makes them better.

These shows also seem to have a god-like reverence towards celebrities, which could explain their single-minded obsession with them and their hubristic contentment with knowing the personal details of their lives. This reverence acts as the impetus for the reactionary tone of their announcements and the cheesy intro music that unsuccessfully attempts to give these shows an air of importance and credibility.

What are even more disturbing are the lengths that the paparazzi will go to in order to break a "story." Although scrutiny and attention are assumed aspects of being a public figure, it is certainly not necessary to endanger lives just to get a picture of Lindsay Lohan driving her car. Photographers and reporters always seem to claim freedom of the press, yet their methods and actions are so asinine that it could provoke even a strict originalist to want to revoke the First Amendment.

So why has this become the new national obsession? Are Americans as a whole just bored with themselves and find some type of temporary satisfaction by knowing the details of how Orlando Bloom likes to spoil his dog? Is it absolutely imperative to know every inane detail about the life of Rob Van Winkle, the former Vanilla Ice, and the former star of VH1's "The Surreal Life?" The over-consumption of this material hurts us since it not only distracts us from more important information, but it reinforces a society based on superficiality, materialism, and stupidity.

It would certainly seem like this exercise in superficiality would eventually lose its appeal, yet celebrity news is still being consumed in abundance, so maybe these "journalists" are on to something. Maybe all writers should incorporate more platitudes into their writing in order to appeal to a broader demographic of American society. Because the truth is relative, and we are only human, so we must look on the bright side of life since the more things change the more they stay the same. Well, maybe we should not, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Mike Skelly ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in finance and political science.