Attention! This university is on high alert! According to some University of Wisconsin officials, we have a huge problem here on campus that is ruining this university's reputation.
No, it's not the UW's nuclear reactor that received international attention after an ABC news investigation reported questionable security lapses exist at the site. And no, it's not even Chancellor John Wiley's negligent conduct in swiftly removing child predators from this university's payroll.
It is, in fact, Playboy magazine. Representatives from Hugh Hefner's famed adult publication were on campus last week to photograph campus women for its "Girls of the Top 10 Party Schools" issue, which is to be on newsstands in May.
In a story run by WKOW-TV last Wednesday, Susan Crowley, director of UW-Madison's anti-binge drinking PACE Project, warned of the imminent threat of young women from this campus appearing in Playboy magazine: "We're seeing some of the repercussions in terms of Playboy."
Crowley went on to talk about how the 75 or so naked coeds voluntarily photographed for an event that has absolutely no official ties to the UW and nothing to do with binge drinking, has such a detrimental effect on drawing potential students to this campus: "Some students will self select and parents will self select away from this school because of the party school designation. I think it really skews the perspective of students as to why they really came here and what this campus and community really have to offer."
Of course, attracting students to this campus has never been much of an issue. In fact, according to UW's own statistics, just 6,142 out of a UW record 21,511 applicants were admitted this year.
Even if a false premise is accepted, that the Playboy event was officially tied to the UW, it would seem like denouncing it would be an attack on free expression on a campus that promotes tolerance, diversity and acceptance. Wait, I forgot, free expression includes virtually everything except breasts and a vagina.
UW officials weren't the only ones who took issue with Playboy. WKOW reporter Marc Lovicott began his own story by injecting his opinion: "In May, Playboy will publish its 'Girls of the Top 10 Party Schools' issue, giving UW-Madison one more reason to question its troubling social reputation." At the end, Lovicott pointed out how some UW officials say that the Playboy issue could lead to more binge drinking. In response, 27 News anchor Greg Jeschke said, "Yeah, you end up with that self-fulfilling prophecy…" to which Lovicott responded, "Absolutely."
I'm still trying to figure out how a woman voluntarily taking her clothes off for a magazine leads to more binge drinking and possible death. I suppose if you saw your girlfriend in the magazine bearing all as some sort of breakup revenge, it could be a reason for you to go a few rounds with Jose Cuervo or Jack Daniels. On second thought, that really is no justification for hitting the bottle, because then you could always say that you dated a Playboy Playmate, something that may even score you points in future relationships.
In reality, all of this hype and outrage by UW officials, such as Susan Crowley, about Playboy magazine being some sort of bad influence on this university is nothing but a moot point that is discredited on so many levels.
First, these are consenting adult women who try out for the magazine. They are not victims being pulled from their homes, forced to take their clothes off. Second, being naked in a magazine has nothing to do with increased amounts of binge drinking. It's simply beautiful women showing off their bodies, while drinking is a personal choice that people make unrelated to the articles of clothing or shaving choices of women in Playboy. Finally, this is not cutting down on recruitment numbers, as UW has historically had far more applicants than accepted students. If someone is offended by nudity, then he won't be seeing the magazine anyway. Even if he decides not to enroll at this university based on knowledge of the magazine, there are thousands of other potential students who will gladly take his place.
My message to Susan Crowley: relax. If there's anything that calms the soul, it's a good old-fashioned Playboy magazine. Free expression is a virtue that this university should be proud of. I thought that a woman expressing herself out of free will was the epitome of feminism.
Here's the deal, Ms. Crowley. I'll buy you a copy of the magazine in May when I get mine, and we'll sit together and look it over. I'll be one of those evil, testosterone-driven males and check out the beautiful women. You can read the articles.
Casey Hoff ([email protected]) is a UW student and host of "New Ground with Casey Hoff," live Monday through Friday, 9-11 a.m., on Madison 1670 The Pulse.
