I'm no economist, but I play one in a campus newspaper. Bill Frist and Tom Delay are no economists, but in the near future our political leaders may have to be.
As a middle schooler becoming familiar with the American political landscape, the two major parties were perceived as follows. Democrats support expensive social programs that aid society's downtrodden. Republicans realize that if government supports all of these programs, we will all become downtrodden. Thus, our country is fortunate to have a perfect balance of debate between fiscal responsibility and tree hugging big spenders who have likely never balanced a checkbook. John Adams would be proud … or at least Thomas Jefferson. Damn Hippie.
With a remarkable disdain for logic, the previous session of Congress spent hours discussing when to move the clock back an hour and managed to make it harder for citizens to declare bankruptcy, all while promising not to address the solvency of social security before the midterm elections. Thus preserving the age-old House tradition of never doing anything requiring serious debate in the two-year period before the next election. That is, unless credit card companies ask nicely and say "thank you."
Pre-Hurricane Katrina congressional spending was irresponsible to say the least. For proof, glaze over the $286.4 billion Highway Bill President Bush signed into law last month. It's a surprisingly light read. President Bush initially indicated he would not sign a bill whose costs exceeded $250 billion. But after what I can only assume was intense wrangling by congressional leaders who wanted their pet projects funded, "Come on Mr. President … Cooome on." Bush lauded the bill in favor of its fiscal responsibility because it did not raise gas taxes. I haven't been able to obtain any Bush comments on the $180 million Alaskan bridge which literally leads to nowhere, or on the $200 million Alaskan bridge which would allow motorists to circumvent a five minute ferry ride to a small airport in favor of a two minute car ride. But you know, ferries just suck.
For refusing to veto a single bill that arrived at his desk to date, President Bush is responsible for the ballooning federal deficit. To go beyond the rhetorical threat to encourage the Republican Congress to curtail spending doesn't seem like the arduous task the administration is making it out to be. It has summoned unparalleled loyalty within the congressional ranks, and numerous White House lawyers have learned the true meaning of the ancient parable, "If you can't take the heat … you'll be compelled to resign."
Stop your cheering lefties. Democratic presidents have operated on a hearty diet of pork since James Polk.
While those of us who don't keep kosher enjoy a healthy serving of pork in the otherwise drab appropriations bill, it becomes a fiscal disaster when coupled with the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina and the war in Iraq.
Do the math here: 35 bucks per ammo clip plus police training, statue roping fees, no bid Halliburton contracts, school construction, a Pentagon report stating that Halliburton overcharged meals by $186 million, another Pentagon report in 2004 that says 43 percent of Halliburton expenses are unverifiable, subtract the military we wish we had (you know, the one with body armor) and Iraqi oil revenues, we've pretty much broke even. Right Mr. President?
Oh yeah, that original $2.5 billion the war was supposed to cost? Tack on an extra $128 billion or so. Rebuilding New Orleans? Reasonable estimates are around $200 billion. A new levee system is estimated at $3.5 billion alone.
No reason to panic, though. Rest assured Congress is on the case and prepared to offset these costs. Rep. Tom DeLay, R-Texas, claims to be ready to cut unneeded spending. If it weren't for one tiny obstacle …
"No one is able to come up with any."
Never mind the $1.5 billion dollar oil drilling consortium in his district. After all, who is the federal government not to give oil drillers money to consort? Eat, Drink … and consort! If I had a penny for every time I heard an oil driller want to consort, but had no $1.5 billion facility to do it in. After all, a penny saved is a penny that needs to be consorted.
So if we're not going to cut anything besides the obvious — Medicare, schools, that sort of thing — there must be some other way to make up this money? Well, President Bush pledged not to raise taxes before estimates for rebuilding became available. Republican senators are still moving forward with plans to repeal the Estate Tax, and many prominent Republicans have suggested a stimulus package featuring — you guessed it — more tax cuts. Surely in an effort to buck conventional logic and prove once and for all that money does indeed grow on trees.
In this time of uncertainty, at least one thing is at last certain. We'll likely spend most of our natural lives paying for the bridge to nowhere, oil consortiums and the mysterious $1,000 military ration. So THAT'S how the peanut butter stays so creamy.
Meanwhile University of Wisconsin-Madison budget cuts for this period hover around
$34 million. At least we've got our priorities straight.
Bassey Etim ([email protected]) is a sophomore majoring in Political Science and Journalism.
