I must confess that I have not been paying attention to many of the present day cartoons, but it seems that the Ambiguously Gay Duo, made infamous by Saturday Night Live, has spread into the extremely vulnerable viewing prism of some of our most impressionable minds.
Save the children!
Dr. James Dobson, of the conservative group “Focus on the Family,” alerted a crowd while speaking at a Republican congressional black-tie dinner following President Bush’s inauguration last week that Spongebob Squarepants is appearing in a “pro-homosexual” video to be distributed to 61,000 U.S. schools in March. The video portrays other potentially gay figures like the popular, purple, dinosaur Barney. We all know that Barney sings that dangerous “I love you, you love me” song.
This dirty video is supposed to promote “tolerance,” according to the “We Are Family Foundation,” which produced the four-minute, Elton John-style, anti-family hit piece. You don’t have to think hard to recognize that “tolerance” is just a code word for the secular, progressive, pro-gay rights, pro-abortion agenda in the United States that wants to take this country in a pinko-commie Marxist direction. We can’t have that.
This deplorable Sodom and Gomorrah cartoon video is also found with the 1979 hit song “We are Family,” which is so embedded with gayness that it would even make former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey feel as heterosexual as Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Terminator. Although, I often wonder about whether or not Arnold’s guns in that movie were really just hidden phallic symbols. Anyway, the “We are Family” song is riddled with sodomy and sin because it does not denote that “we are family” means “one man married to one woman.” If the secular, progressive, pro-gay rights people really wanted to include a pro-family song, then they should have made this correction, otherwise, who’s to say that “family” doesn’t mean a man marrying a cow? It’s a slippery slope once you start letting men marry other men. I mean, those people are great interior decorators and petite women’s clothing designers, but they certainly can’t raise a child.
Anyway, the makers of this uber-liberal video claim its purpose is to spread the ideas of “tolerance” and “diversity” to our kids. I think Dr. Dobson is right on when he suggests that these ideas are dangerous for the youth of America. You see, there’s a difference between being “tolerant” of others and “respecting” others. To be tolerant of gays, you have to accept sodomy like Spongebob Squarepants clearly does. Even though he never engages in any anal sex in his cartoons, and the controversial four-minute video never makes any reference to sexuality whatsoever, Spongebob is often seen holding hands with his starfish pal Patrick and also watches the show “The Adventures of Barnacle Boy and Mermaid Man” in his cartoon series. I don’t think I need to say anymore than that about Spongebob to convince you that he’s a regular purple spandex-wearing Richard Simmons without the feminine lisp.
This is not the first push that the rainbow movement has made to try and indoctrinate our kids’ minds with a Satanic message. We all remember the purple Teletubbie named Tinky Winky who was thankfully outed by the Reverend Jerry Falwell. Tinky Winky was queerer than Madison seeing an 80-degree day in January. And speaking of queer, how about “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?” They’ve even tried to convert more heterosexuals over to their side with that show by suggesting that straight guys should invest more time in feminizing their homes and embracing Versaci’s idea of fashion.
The bottom line is that Dr. James Dobson is right when he suggests that kids are being indoctrinated with these deplorable cartoons. It is extremely dangerous. As another member of the group “Focus on the Family” recently noted, “We see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is manipulating and potentially brainwashing kids. It’s a classic bait and switch.”
I remember the first time I saw a woman’s nipple when I was a little boy. I was instantly attracted to the female species, but I would hate to think what could have happened had I been watching an episode of Spongebob Squarepants. As I was recently told by the anti-gay Reverend Fred Phelps on my radio show, the gays should “castrate themselves” if they can’t behave any other way. The Reverend Phelps also referenced my listeners to his website for more info, at www.godhatesfags.com.
In case you didn’t catch my extreme sarcasm, I wrote this column to show just how ridiculous many members of the conservative, religious right are in their thinking. They have great access to the White House. Jerry Falwell, Pat Roberton, and Dr. James Dobson have been invited there many times and their ideas play a large role in political strategy for Karl Rove. The far-right-wing reverends love to meet with our born-again Christian cowboy President. Wait, wasn’t one of the members of the Village People a cowboy?
You see, I’m actually a practicing Catholic myself and a very religious one at that. I’m also a heterosexual, but I am confident that Jesus would embrace the idea of love for all people through acceptance and tolerance. I remember seeing Burt and Ernie in a bathtub together on Sesame Street when I was a kid, but for some reason I still love women to this day. Finally, I have a theory about some of the conservative religious right-wingers who believe that Spongebob Squarepants is leading our society towards Armageddon. I have often thought that many of these people like the Reverend Fred Phelps and Dr. James Dobson might not be too comfortable in their own masculinity or sexuality, if you catch my drift.
Casey Hoff ([email protected]) is a UW student and the host of “New Ground with Casey Hoff,” live Monday through Friday, 9-11 a.m., on Talk Radio 1670 WTDY.
