Thanksgiving Thursday, shopping Friday, and Saturday bragging.

Most people are still telling anyone who will listen how great a deal they found on DVD players and iPods. The National Retail Federation counted 133 million Americans charging through doors with credit cards and coupons on Black Friday, leaving behind $22.8 billion, mainly on electronics, music and clothing. Some 13.3 million logged on to the trusty Internet for a calmer shopping spree, according to Nielson/NetRatings. To drop just one more name into the mix, ComScore Networks says those online shoppers clicked their way to $250 million, bringing us to more than $23 billion spent at the store.

Thanks, Mom, but is it really necessary? Although coupon and discount items led the sales in a major way this weekend, that’s still a lot of dough to be kneading for the holidays. Speaking of dough, the pumpkin pie was fantastic.

The coming month represents a time of familial celebration to more than one religion, and has come to symbolize a time of gathering for many atheist families as well. Basically, we move from a big national “Thanks for the grub!” to a closer, warmer “Thank you.” Thank you for your time spent with me, your listening to my corny jokes and my bad days, your giving me a smile when I had a frown. Does it take a new stereo, Halo 2 with headset, new shoes, another package of socks and several boxes spilling out sweaters, pants and shirts to say that? I thought we put out the decorative cornucopia in November, not December?

We all remember grade school (well, parts of it) and how, come December, our eyes would jack wide open on the playground wondering what we’d all get and hoping to come back from break with the longest list. Whoever had the most toys won come January. So no doubt we all piled up our presents in the living room, wrapping paper drifting on all sides and asked: Is that all?

Maybe Mom was remembering that question when she went out Friday, wanting to make us happy come holiday. And hell, December’s a good time to make up for the rest of the year too — it’s like playing Monopoly where you pay the fine to get out of the dog pound if you can’t roll doubles. Or maybe it’s like those taxes in “Fight Club” when she gets on the bus … Where has the holiday spirit gone? So much focus on the volume of presents screams of a materialistic culture lost in frantic grappling for a façade of success. But everyone knows that.

Does everyone know that parents suffer a lot of stress during the holidays? They feel obliged to give equally to each of their children, as well as to keep up with — and, if they can, outdo — the gifts they know other parents have bought. If they don’t give their kids the newest toys, does that make them financial failures or does the number and quality of gifts given directly translate to the amount of love shared? Many of us will agree that we only give presents to those we like, or at least are supposed to like. Those gifts should serve as tokens, reminders of mutual care, which provide the recipient comforting thoughts with every use or wear. My sister bought this sweater. At what point does it turn from tokens of affection to wampum for love?

What about this: most of us already give our parents and siblings one gift on the holidays. Most of us receive one gift from each sibling. Some of us buy a gift for our closest friends, and the wise among us get a gift for our lovers. We only expect one gift back from them (and we do expect it). So what if this year we go to our parents and we tell them, “Hey, how about we just make a fair trade, one gift for one gift?” What if we tell them, “I already love you as much as I ever will, so there’s no need to cut the lower branches off the tree this year.” Maybe then, we’ll get a gift that means something. A gift that comforts us while away from home, reminding us there’s something beyond a 45-pound textbook. And if your parents somehow feel bad about not spending as much on you as in the past, offer a compromise: tell them how much joy you get from reading their handwriting and mailing you a check every week would keep you in the holiday spirit all year long.

Matthew Clausen ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in English.