That time of year is upon us once again. The anticipation has been mounting for days now. It is the annual opportunity for us to show the rest of the state what social life at UW-Madison is all about in one of our most popular celebrations: Halloween.
While walking down State Street and going to parties throughout campus, one can see some pretty clever and original costumes. However, everyone knows that there are a few staple costumes that we just cannot escape. Back in our childhood days, they were witches, ghosts and those plastic costumes with matching masks.
Today, however, it is the ubiquitous schoolgirl.
Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. You say that you’re going to dress up as some seemingly innocent or mundane persona, but you somehow manage to make yourself look like an extra in a Britney Spears video.
Yet, on their behalf, the schoolgirls are not the only culprits. During Halloween weekend, we can see several different characters showing quite a bit of skin. Who knew that soldiers wore tube tops? Yes, we can make just about any character as R-rated as we want to. I’m still shaking my head in disbelief about last year’s “slutty zebra.”
Now, don’t worry, girls. I’m not going to suggest that you stop sleazing up your costumes, partly because my male friends would certainly berate me for it. Plus, most of you would probably agree with one of my roommates when she asks, “Where’s the fun in that?” However, before you slap on that bright red micro-miniskirt and call yourself a firefighter, please keep a few factors in mind:
1. Occasion. It’s true — Halloween is a chance for us to dress up as something that we normally wouldn’t on the other 364 days of the year. So I suppose if you’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to dress as Lil’ Kim, here’s your chance. But you could break out those knee-high boots and halter tops for a house party on any given weekend. How often do you get to put a giant cone on your head and call yourself a beer bong? This celebration only comes around one weekend each year. Embrace its spirit.
2. Creativity. By the time you read this, I’m sure you’ve already been asked several dozen times what you are going to dress as for Halloween. Don’t you want to be able to reply with something slightly out of the ordinary? After all, there is a lot of hype and pressure surrounding costume choice on this campus. Why not try to come up with something a little different? It’s not very often that you hear “A French maid? Wow, I never would have thought of that!”
This weekend is also an excuse for you to be able to stand out in a crowd. No one will remember which “naughty nurse” you were. And how are you going to distinguish yourself in the fleet of “slutty schoolgirls?”
3. Warmth. This one’s the clincher, ladies. No amount of alcohol will be able to help you when it’s 34 degrees outside and you are wearing four square feet of fabric. I also doubt that you’ll get much sympathy when your teeth are chattering and you’re wishing you were home in sweatpants. On Halloween, we’re all out to have a good time, so try not to bring us down with your whining. After all, you’re doing it to yourself.
We’ve all heard of or experienced many a Halloween such as this: “It was pretty fun, but I was so cold!” Let’s learn from our predecessors’ mistakes.
Although I think that the aforementioned costumes lack originality and, well, common sense, I suppose they are a necessary spectacle in any UW-Madison Halloween experience. If nothing else, they help to offset the really ingenious costumes.
So, to all my schoolgirls, French maids and naughty nurses, go for it. Turn some heads and have fun. Get it out of your systems. Then look around at everyone else and see how it’s really done.
Nicole Marklein ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in political science.
