The first time I was harassed because of my race was about two years ago, on West Dayton Street. I left my dorm near midnight in good spirits. It was the weekend; I had just gotten off work and I could finally relax. For once, I wasn’t thinking about what it was like being a student of color on this campus or even being a woman walking on the street alone at night. I was looking forward to an evening with an old friend from my hometown.
As I walked past the Dayton Street Apartments, I heard the drunken din of a college party. There were people out on the balcony, drinking and laughing and having a good time. Nothing out of the ordinary to catch my attention for long — until I heard someone shout, “Look at that chink!” Instantly, my mind froze but my legs kept moving. A different voice shouted jovially, “It’s Chairman Mao!” Everyone was laughing, but all I heard was hate, and all I felt was fear and anger.
I kept walking by, but faster now. I was scared that someone would say something else, scared that someone would throw his beer bottle at me, scared that my mind might unfreeze itself, allowing words that would spill out of my mouth and get me killed.
Another Asian woman — what were the odds, I wonder now, as Asian Americans make up less than 4 percent of the undergraduate population — was walking down the same sidewalk as me. “Look, it’s another one!” someone offered from above. Her eyes met mine, and in her face I saw myself — stunned and wounded and frightened. We walked by each other, not knowing what to do.
When you experience something like that — harassment based on nothing other than the color of your skin — you replay the scene over and over in your head. You come up with a script of what you should have said. You imagine dragging your enemies out and dealing with them violently, making them physically feel the pain you feel emotionally. In your mind, you test out each of the options available to you at the time, and you relive it.
I didn’t know what to do that night, but today I think I know what I should have done. I should have called the Dean of Students Office to file a report with SPEAKUP! — and I would have gladly done so. The trouble is, I had never heard of it, even though the program had been around for about five years by then.
This is the basic problem with the SPEAKUP! — no one knows about it. Yet it is crucial all students become familiar with it. The program takes reports of discriminatory harassment and assault — incidents based on race, gender, sexual orientation, age, religion, disability or nationality.
Once an incident is reported, the Dean of Students Office works with the victim to find some sort of resolution. In cases where there is an identified perpetrator, they can launch an investigation if the victim wants. Responses range from emotional support for the victim to disciplinary action against the perpetrator if he/she is a student.
This semester, ASM Diversity Committee is launching a campaign to increase the number of SPEAKUP! reports. These numbers must increase so that they paint a more accurate picture of the campus climate at UW-Madison. In 1995, there were 64 complaints, but by 1999 they had dropped to 34.
I can come up with 34 reports between five friends and me.
The Dean of Students Office must increase awareness of the program, especially among students who are likely targets for harassment. ASM Diversity Committee recently received the SPEAKUP reports from the past seven years, and some of the reports I have read made me cry. Although the number of reports is low — between 30 and 40 on average — they still represent the individual stories and experiences of students.
ASM Diversity Committee is working to raise awareness of the issue by collecting this-semester students’ written testimonies of discriminatory harassment and publishing them into a booklet. By collecting these previously unheard stories of harassment, we will not only raise awareness of the issue, but also begin our journey to solving the problem of underreporting.
Only with more accurate statistics and a clearer picture of student experiences can the administration confront harassment in a more effective manner, and campus climate begin to improve for all students.
Jenny Chen ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in Journalism and political science. She is the ASM Diversity Committee co-chair.
