It might seem reasonable to some that since we are just finishing the second week of school, people would still be on their best behavior and would not lack common decency. On the contrary, it has been our experience that some people continue to exhibit poor etiquette and a lack of respect towards others.
Once again, we hope to provide a bit of amusement and add a smile or two to your day. If you witness any behaviors that defy the laws of common decency, please feel free to contact us via e-mail at [email protected], and we may print it in our next article.
1. One shall not be intoxicated enough at an athletic event to jump on the seats in front of another, while humping the individuals sitting, and preach nonsense motivational speeches to the student section.
2. Bascom Hill should be abolished because when it is icy; it is not very pleasant to take an involuntary bootie sled down the hill.
3. One shall not think that just because the “L” line bus is free, one should utilize it to avoid walking ten feet or to cross the street.
4. One shall not rationalize licking a dish and assume that it is germ-free when, frankly, it needs to be washed.
5. Professors shall not keep talking after the bell rings and have the nerve to be insulted when students start packing, especially when some students are on their third power lecture of the day.
6. One shall not attempt to compose a symphony with the ring tones of his cellular phone in the silent study area of the library.
7. One shall not be crazy enough to think that a mullet is an elegant blend of form, function, business and party.
8. Professors should hold late-night lectures for students with insomnia so they can induce them into a deep trance-like state of sleep — the natural way.
9. Bucky shall not try to put the moves on students by rubbing their backs excessively and touching their booties.
10. One shall not attempt to untie a lady’s top at a party or a bar unless he desires either a swift slap across the face or a nice old-fashioned grab, squeeze, twist and pull.
