In the wake of destruction that the State Street burrito wars left behind, even in the theatre of a two-front burrito battle, no one thought the fallout would be this bad.

When I was a UW freshmen, Qdoba did not exist … it was Zteca. Simple. Fast. Fresh ingredients. Diagnosis: delicious.

Several weeks ago, I was aghast to discover Qdoba had added a new addition to Zteca’s old menu: the quesadilla. Slightly more expensive than the standard burrito fare yet twice as cumbersome to prepare, the line was backed out to the door, but the quesadilla’s debut and Qdoba’s consequent long line was not just a hint for me to go elsewhere to dine.

Rather, it was a not-so subtle hint for me to get the hell out of dodge. The Qdoba I knew, and the Zteca I had sobered up with freshman year had transformed completely, morphing into a stranger — one I could hardly recognize.

As my world crumbled that day, it dawned on me for the first time that soon enough I would be leaving Madison and entering a brave new world … one without Zteca … or Qdoba.

Perhaps the devastating burrito wars convinced the good people at Qdoba to add this monstrosity of a food item to their lineup, but the true victims are not Chipotle’s would-be customers, but you, Madison’s hungry, an entire generation of UW students disenfranchised from sinking their teeth into burritos, or possibly breakfast burritos, (which I concede are also delicious), due to the addition of quesadillas to the Qdoba menu. You have all fallen victim to a savory propaganda stunt perpetrated by a key aggressor in the burrito wars.

Now, as I join the ranks of the unemployed, I want those four years back. And I want my Zteca burrito back.