Oh hey there, hornballs. Sam here, your friendly neighborhood sex columnist and titillator extraordinaire. I’ll be seeing you right here in the ArtsEtc. section for your weekly indulgence of “Hump Day.” Check us out each Wednesday as we get down and dirty on everything your loins desire to read about sex, love, relationships, hooking up, kink and sexual health.
Now this definitely isn’t your high school sex talk – this is a no-holds-barred, uncensored arena where no question or topic is too raunchy or taboo to discuss. Trust me, we’ve heard it all. Email your sizzling questions and column ideas to [email protected] anytime so that each column is filled with the questions and concerns of real, live Badgers.
Here are some things to consider before your arrival to campus:
To be or not to be?
Sexually active, that is. You might be familiar with the stereotypical images and sexual lifestyles of college students – sneaking quickies into study breaks with co-eds, blowjobs in the library stacks and getting laid Thursday through Saturday evenings. College is supposedly a fluid-swapping playground where the boobies and the inhibitions run free. This is, after all, most of our first experiences living untied from parental gaze and that keep-one-ear-open-in-case-someone-walks-in mood-killer.
Sure, the University of Wisconsin definitely has a strong hook-up culture for those who choose to partake in its pleasures. But most Badgers actually say they have zero to one sex partners in a given academic year. Monogamy and “traditional” dating is definitely an available option if that’s what you prefer, as are friends-with-benefits, fuck buddies, anonymous sex partners and everything in between. The beauty is you can try all or none of these options and even change your mind! You get to build your own sex life.
“Hooking up” is a curious thing. We always seem to think everyone else is doing it! Just remember this when you overhear your dorm mates all atwitter with stories of last night’s hook up – “hooking up” can mean anything from making out to mashing goodie bits. Sexual anthropologists report that this vagueness is precisely the appeal of the phrase. It can be used to easily disguise or amplify sexual experiences and keep the dirty details a mystery to peers.
“You will get chlamydia. And die.”
No, you won’t. But sexually transmitted infections should definitely be on your radar. Half of all new cases in the U.S. are among 18-24 year olds, the Center for Disease Control reports. so we’re definitely overrepresented in that department. Our University Health Services says they see a handful of HPV, chlamydia and herpes cases every week. It’s important to stop by UHS for a free STI screening every six months if you have multiple partners, or once a year even if you just have one regular partner. And hey, even if you do happen to contract something, life will go on, I promise. All STIs are treatable, if not curable, but they’re also all definitely preventable.
If you have reproductive capabilities, now is also a good time to consider or re-evaluate your birth control options. “Better safe than baby,” I always say! There are pills, patches, shots, insertions and many more devices available. You can make an appointment at UHS to sort through the plethora of options out there. The local Planned Parenthood can also set you up with free options.
And if I ever see any of you purchasing condoms or lube at a Walgreens, I will throw something at you. My dear Badgers, you should never have to spend your dollars and cents on safer sex supplies while you’re living anywhere near a college campus. Places like UHS, Sex Out Loud, Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment, the Campus Women’s Center and the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Campus Center have got you stocked with condoms, lube and even sex dams, medical gloves and receptive condoms. You can come visit me at the Sex Out Loud office for the most variety – we’ve got all different brands sizes, flavors, shapes, textures and colors on deck.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T, find out what it means to roomie!
If you’ll have a roommate this fall, there’s never a better time like the present to have the sex talk. There’s nothing worse than being sexiled from your room the night before a big exam or waking up to the sound of the upper bunk squeaking. If you’ll be living in the dorms, your house fellow will likely give you a roommate quiz to tease out your preferences and boundaries for getting along.
Go deeper than that. Come up with a secret password for the marker board to signal “Come back later, I’m getting laid” that isn’t so obvious so that the rest of the floor is prompted to obnoxiously pound on your door and giggle. Pick a designated plan B crash pad for when one of you is having an overnight guest and the other needs a spot to sleep (forming an alliance with another set of roommates helps). Be forthcoming about weekly (or daily) self-loving time. Get the picture?
Until next time, stay sexy and safe, everyone.
Sam is a senior who works at Sex Out Loud, UW’s peer-to-peer sexual health resource. Email Sam your burning questions on sex at UW at [email protected].
