Happy Hump Day everyone! Let’s get right down to it, shall we?

If a girl says it hurts when you’re fucking her are you just too big?

Mmmmmm, probs not. It actually more likely means that she is not fully turned on.

See, when female-bodied people are in an aroused state, the round ligaments of the reproductive tract tugs the uterus up and forward. Since the uterus is attached to the back end of the vagina, the tunnel balloons up and creates a nice little pool for the spermies to swim in. It is actually a pretty neat evolutionary response-it can potentially promote the chances of reproduction if semen is squirted in and it tucks the cervix up and away from any cock bashing.

Which brings me back to you, oh Giant One. It is quite likely you are bumping on her cervix and causing irritation. Try warming her up first with some sensual kissing, vulva massage, pussy licking, or whatever else it is that gets her wet.

What is “temperature play”?

Ooh, good question. Temperature play is a type of sensation play that uses hot and cold to switch up the stimulation to our neuroreceptors.

You can either stick to one temp – like tracing an ice cube over the contours of each other’s bodies until it melts away or slowly dripping melted wax and watching them write from the pleasurable burn –  or get even more adventurous and incorporate both! Some lubricants do this with “dual” lubes that come together. Use each kind consecutively on one person back and forth or put one on each and mash your goody bits together to create an entirely different sensation. Even neater, you’ll probably interpret the same feeling differently. Or try keeping glasses of ice water and boiled water by the bed. Take a sip of one, give some head, then take a sip of the other and give some more head. Each time you go down will be a bit startling, kind of like jumping in a pile of snow and right back into a hot tub.

How effective is the pull-out method?

Ah, the pull-out method. Otherwise known as the withdrawal method or coitus interruptus, a.k.a. pull the dick out of the vagina before you let your load go.

Here’s the thing about pulling out: In theory, when used absolutely perfectly, it has the potential to work. Notice that this sentence has a lot of caveats. This is because it also has the potential to go very, very wrong.

There are two major concerns with pulling out. The first, obviously, is not pulling out in time and making a cream pie. The second is pre-cum – the drops of clear fluid that appear at the tip of the penis during the stages of arousal. This fluid may contain stray sperm, though there is nothing about the bodily process of making pre-ejaculate fluid that involves sperm. The Cowper’s gland secretes pre-cum to clean out the urethra from any leftover acidic urine, clearing a passageway for the sperm. Any sperm that is still hanging out there will get picked up with the pre-cum and make it’s way to the pee hole.

So the sperm count in pre-cum is very very low, if it even exists at all. And while a sexual health educator would never recommend pulling-out as your go-to birth control method, it may be a good idea to use it in addition to another method or when you are in a bind.

Planned Parenthood’s website sums it up well: Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly. Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal 27 will become pregnant each year if they don’t always do it correctly.” To put things into perspective, insertive condoms are 98% effective when used consistently and correctly.

Is bigger really better?

Depends who you ask. But girth matters so much more than length if we are talking about p in the vajay kind of sex. The upper two-thirds of the vagina don’t have many nerve endings anyway, but surrounding muscle tissue and organs can sense how full the vagina is, which is quite the pleasurable sensation.

What are good sex positions for virgins?

Any position that puts the receptive partner in control of the speed, depth, and overall force of the penetration is probably your best bet. So receptive-on-top, otherwise commonly known as cowgirl or cowboy. There’s obvious benefits for the person receiving penetration, but the insertive partner gets a good view of the show and can relax knowing that the won’t hurt over overwhelm their partner.

What are lesser known erogenous zones?

An erogenous zone is a part of the body that is extra sensitive to stimulation that can quickly induce arousal. Some of my personal lesser-known-but-no-less-awesome ones are wrists, backs of the knees, tip of the nose, and inner ankles. Some people can cum just by having their ankles made out with for ten minutes. Seriously. Give it a try sometime.

Send Sam & Amie your insatiable inquiries at [email protected]